siblings


these people are those who share my childhood, together.
sesama kena marah time ngaji ngan ma.
gaduh2 berebut remote tv.
gaduh lambat siap nk kuar makan.
berebut bilik air.
berebut food "aku nak sayap!!".
"sapa pakai selipar aku buat main hujan??!"
"hoi, tolong buang sampah ni, kjap lg aku nk bakar sampah, tolong!"
bonceng beskal sesama gi skol.
penah share stage amik award ujian akhir tahun.

these all sweet enemies give me lots of moments.
to be who am i now.
thanks mom and abah, for raising us being orang yang berguna.
we are very blessed.
Thank God.
Alhamdulillah.

and yesterday, my not so lil bro, married.
and he, who always accompanied me once sesama blaja kat shah alam.
org kuar ngn bf, kita kuar lepak ngan adik.
he, also the one yg naik bas sesama g hostel since skol sblh sblh.
and the one who asked me to sign his report card sbb 
mls nk dgr abah bebel.
huhu.

so much memories we share.
hope Allah bless us all.
thank you for being with me for my thick and thin.
you all are like home to me.


a day

today i feel like i want to talk, to anyone, about anything.
know what, stress plak my staffs when i ajak borak, and she was like, layan je la, dah boss kan.
kekekehkeh.

maybe effect smlm layan citer me before you, and how to be single.
mmg giler sampai mata dah takleh buka, tapi nk tgk.

well, in live you might be have:-

- a day that you wantto talk all the time
- a day that you wantto curl on the bed while hang 'do not disturb' tag on door
- a day yang ko rasa sronok nk masak, google resepi bagai
- a day which you want to watch rom-com in the silent room and giggle

well, pompuan, normal lah kan.

well...


dah masuk disember weyh, cepat giler tahun ni rasanya.
tahun depan apa la akan jadi dengan aku ni.
huhu.

all the best, life.

rain

the rain is falling heavily.
and the sky doesnt shine like usual.
well, we miss the sun on the raining day. (is this we call love?..huh.)

hujan-hujan ni bestnya kalau buat asgmt and benda2 berfikiran keras.
damai, dan tenang memberikan flow pemikiran yang smooth.
and i now everyone like rain and snow, as long as ia tak memudaratkan.
know what, buatlah apa2 pun, asalkan tidak memudaratkan, itu bagus.

i did ask people for doctorate life and living.
none of them show the motivation and inspire.
semua macam... "well, what the question is that?"
"d'u know what u are asking?'
and the like bila soalan aku was like "best tak buat phD, oke tak? i mean, susah sangat ke?"
and should i put aside the dream, and build another dream.
huhu.


oke lah, sunday with rain is not so cool.
dtg keja mcm tak brapa nk semangat.
atas jalan pun xde org.
smlm tdo pun tjaga tjaga.


maybe

maybe yang jahat itu aku, kerana tak memahami.
i tend to curse myself for being too good to people who i decide them to be stay with.
maybe i am the one who so very easy to be twisted by them into their life.
maybe all the fault turn to me.

yes, u are all right.
you think that people have to understand you.
you think i am the one who need to feel your life, be in your shoes.
and then...what you do is cursing me for asking you to follow my rules.

and now, whose to blame?

maybe this is the perfect time to us, to walk to our own way.
with our own rules.
those who want to stay, stay.
who don't, leave.

but once you turn, i might left you far.
let the heart and gut tell..

Anuar Zain - Andainya Takdir



memang.
baru part selisih dah melimpah air mata dowh.
tangisan apakah?

terbawak2 sedeh mcm org bcinta.
bodss...!!

ufhtt

getting review from the old blog shows 3/4 life for these 8years spent for work.
and here standing now is me with that hasil. am i puashati?
hurmmm.

to avoid self thinking about those crapping things, i keep my life busying.
watching movies, cooking, doing some my not so lil bro wed, and so on so forth.
pastu stress sendiri.

ksian.
bods.


that day aku order kamheong dish at a chinese restaurant.
and my fren be like, "it is just masak kicap, why u so obses?"
well, it is not just a masak kicap okeh.
i did google and cook it myself then makan sampai puas.
i is kind of orang yang bleh makan satu menu sampai bosan.
kalao sbulan x bosan, sbulan lah bleh ngadap.


to mengubat rindu asam pedas hajah mona melaka,
of course i gigih g cari tenggiri walau sekeping.
as for me, asam pedas is only fit with tenggiri.
ikan lain mcm x brapa in.
sorry.





aku duk menyiapkan goodies ni smlm.
bpeluh2 sbb kipas rosak.

these are the contents.


ni sbb aku nk marah my fav kedai mee was told as using the pelaris.
homaigad, i cant believe it.
smentara nunggu sup siap mndidih, aku tcegat bdiri tenung mee ketiau ni.
huhu. jadahnya?

masih mencari mood.
kbai.

leave

being sincere for a ship (friendship, family-ship, relationship...or what ever ship u called it) is of course we hope of each other contribution. give and take kinda thing.
what is the most important?
as for me, the loyalty and being there for whatever circumstance adalah satu yang should be appreciated in all ways.
and pls, do not hide things since if the things came from other people instead of you yourself, it is kind of omg, disaster...which i cant accept.
good thing or bad thing, let u yourself tell.
keadaan sebaliknya brings the frustration and dissappointment.

bergantung harap kepada baiknya orang whose you give them your heart is not a promise to get the same thing.
give yourself to Allah, and inshaAllah He take care of you at most.
I love people kerana Allah what. but then, since i spare the hope for their kindness to appreciate me, its my bad lah kan.

i take myself to get out from the ship.
and let you find out what you should do.
i am done.
it is my right to save my heart from you.
as you have the right to hide things from me.

hiding something and not telling me the truth is same as lying.
and i do not like lying people.

i cant believe it happened to me, again.
lets angkat kaki first.
before you leave me, let me leave you.
as your advice, years ago.

do not seek me, pls.

it is not i want to putuskan silaturahim, it is just to avoid me feel sakit hati saje.
i have to respect my feeling.
since u dont.

years ago (too) i ignored their advice not to leave you,
in order to see what could i explore the ship with you.
but then, i 'see' this.
and i hear them clapping their hands to me.
boo-ing me in a very annoying sound.

oh, i hate this feeling.
kbai.