beban

semalam, i was shocked dapat call from a fren whose calling for help.
but after i realized, he actually calling for a shoulder to cry on.
aku ni jenis tak berapa reti nak calmkan org, just lending my ears je bolehlah.
sbb dah hampir 7 months 'silent' from a deep conversation.ok dah.

terdengar suara tersekat2 tu aku dah cemas my God nak buat apa ni.
and i was like ..."lek2..cool."..."sabar"..."ok now camana nak buat"
which is sbnrnya semua tu tak brapa herlok utk direspon time2 camni.
ye lah, org tgh marah, sedey, disappointed, etc.

deep in my heart i pity him.
too much burden, pastu bertambah2 dgn keja2 lain.
dengan sambung blaja lagi. 
oh my goodness, i feel you.

conversation semalam habis dengan keputusan yg dia yakin.
yakin untuk proceed hidup dia dengan apa yg dia dah pilih.
selepas dia duk "...kalaulah saya tak pilih...kalau dulu saya..kalau.."
tapi alkesahnya realiti tak begitu.
hadaplah apa yg ada ni.
jangan quit.
dia boleh, sbb tu Allah bagi beban tu.

semoga Allah menguatkan jiwa kita, iman kita.
mungkin ini pengalaman yg dia akan bawak sampai mati.
seperti yg aku pnah experience dulu.
semuanya adalah kenangan.
yang mendewasakan.

all the best my fren.
Allah bersamamu.
and now on i'll include u to my doa  :)

soalan

"skang, you kawan dengan sape eh?"

euwww...soalan apakah ini?
mulanya direct aku jwb tanpa berfikir.
"saya kawan semua org. ngn you pun saya kawan".
then she replied detail.
then aku tanya balik "why you ask?".
then jawapannya "sebab tak nampak 'kawan' ngan sape2".

that is really mean that i am not with anyone lah cik kak.
actually, aku ni orangnya jelas.
kalau ada, nampak.
kalau xde, nampak juga.
huhu.
terpancar segalanya.

.......

nampak sangat ker???

klmj

benda kecik, kalau sntiasa difikir-fikirkan, jadi besar.
ia membinasakan.
meruntuhkan silaturahim.
dan memberi kemurungan.

sometimes it comes from sepotong ayat yang dlm conversation biasa, or even been texted.
and how could people just spell their words to us, without considering our feelings.
i am sensetip on that hokeh.
and i was just 'tergamaknya kau cakap camtu'.

remember my mom taught me that kalau kita xnak org buat kat kita, jgn buat kat org.
but then nowadays, org, tergamak je buat apa2 kat kita, even kita x buat kat dia.
know what i meant kan.
the long term ship u have with them dont guarantee that they are best for u.
org ckp takyah lah pk, tak penting.
but then if it doesnt come from their thoughts then where from that words came?

oh my people.
why so cruel.

i have been asked that "who is your best friend?".
and it takes me sometime to think you know.
even i raised out a few name and they will asking me back .
"ye ke?does she closed to bla..bla.. rather than you?".
i was just, "eh!pls dun question me boleh?".
dan terus membawa diri, and listen to Faded-Alan Walker.

teruk kan...huhu.


tadabbur

few days ago i went to seminar.
Seminar cara mudah faham alQuran.
It was a very good seminar, giving so much info that help to enhance the way of membaca Quran.

actually to read is good enough. i mean to read without understand the meaning since Allah gives u pahala juga. but then, it is like mcm air lalu je lah.
reading with knowing the meaning adalah membolehkan kita communicate dgn Quran.
Tadabbur is knowing what is the message the Allah want to deliver to us in that ayat.
and then, Tazakkur, which is you need to know what is your responsibility to react for the ayat.
stakat ni baca tafsir cenggitu je.
and that is really membantu dalam solat.
sangat.

Ni dia share link: http://tadabburmadeeasy.com/
link ni untuk kita blajar faham Quran.
letak tepi dia nak buat profit ke apa, yg penting apa kita dapat dari apa yg dia smpaikan.
kalau info tu dpt mengubah kita, Alhamdulillah, Allah bagi jalan kita nak berhijrah.
kalo pk negative, dptlah benda negative tu smpai bila-bila.

masa dia hurai Surah Al Ankabut (Labah-labah) tu aku rasa mcm Ya Allah keciknya la hai ilmu yg kita ada ni.
sikit nau.
tapi aku x paham kenapa org nak angkuh dgn ilmu yg dia ada.
kannn..

tak smpai 2 mggu lgi dah nak puasa.
sejauh mana dah preparation kita.
igt tahun ni nak puasa dengan sesuatu yg tak biasa dibuat seblm ni.
dengan satu ilmu yg boleh enhance iman.
semoga Allah bagi aku bertemu ramadhan kali ini, dengan baik.
InshaAllah.

bai.

the thought

how to turn the recent thought to other thing?

mine be like...
masak. my God, bila masak beria of coz ko makan beria.
pastu passion untuk diet faded.
nak shopping, skali skala boleh lah.
bila pk balik nak shopping buat hape smua dah ada.
angkat je baju, hatta ke make up, small thought comes, mcm waste je.
nak buat apa byk2? mana nak simpan, almari dah penuh.
that kind of thing.

hmm..
now nak g trip pun dah susah.
kawan2 mcm jauh.
dan makin "menjauh" since kita bukan slalu get engage.
aku x pasti lah faktor jarak atau apa.
tak pe lah. aku okay je.
mmg lah kdg2 terasa, tapi ignore je.

bila bjalan dengan adik2, kna tggu finance kau gomok2 baru bleh jalan.
all the spend would be double.
hmm..

...hmmm skali lagi.

sbnrnya aku nak twist thought tanak bagi pk pasal keja je.
but then, pusing-pusing i got nothing to think about, last2 balik semula ke kerja.
life, like that.

bzbunny

life got sooo busy these days.
so that i shop hard last weekends, sementelahan sale sana sini.
pastu duk diam-diam, kerja balik.

program tak putus-putus tahun ni.
and for sure bila kita work hard, all we need is understanding from people, yang closed to us lah kan.
tapi bila tgk makin senang goyang kaki saja yg the rest tuh, i also brasa hati juge lah.
at least, concern lah sikit, kalau tak banyak pon.
u all also got the gaji end of the month kan.

bila serabut-serabut ni lah terkadang kita akan rasa at one time we have full attention and loves, and at one another time we have nothing, dan hanya kita bersusah payah, which is ko apehal keja pnat2, rilek lah weyh.
is this bisikan syaiton atau a wake-up whisper?
huhu.

ok dah, itu je.
bai.