a fren to remember

 

selepas dia decide nak pindah kampus few months ago aku rilek lagi even ade lah terasa sebak dihati member ngeteh dah makin kurang tapi arini terasa berat plak. ade 28 hari lg dia nk pindah. sememangnya begitulah hidup. we all have wings to fly. jadi pergilah memana yg kita rasa happy utk stay, even in family we travel leaving the nest, lagikan tempat bekerja, bolehlah fly ke mana-mana bila dah tak selesa.

tak selesa ni banyak faktor, kita takleh pandang satu side sahaja. kawan boleh dicari, majikan juga boleh dipilih kalau terpaksa.mcm dia kata, masih dalam uitm, we still under the same roof.

thanks for being my fren selama 2019 till now. 

and all the best untuk akan datang.

semoga jumpa kat syurga.

huhu.

pelangi petang

last two weeks memang hari yang menyemakkan kepala dengan masalah orang lain.
dan juga masalah kerja-pencapaian etc. i was so nerve sbb KPI tak capai. life seems so miserable.
time tu plak pandai gi set time nak jumpa kan, memang aku hampir terbanjir depan dia lah kan.
esoknya tu dia datang bawak bubur ke rumah. melting kejap sis.
tapi terserempak plak ngan abang. huk aloh, memang gempar sekejap hati sis.

kerap plak jumpa lately.
aku tau dia bz, and still making effort to spare his time for me and i am very grateful to God for having him currently. tak pasti dia akan stay in my life or not, macam yg sebelum2 ni yang hanya pelangi petang. only Allh know how i am really want him to stay. even he is always with his muka ketat, no expression, but still full with advise and thoughtful words. always saying that he is the most complicated person among his circle, and no one could understand him. (well, uhurm..hello...! what the purpose of me by the way...).

"saya ada boleh bantu".
the words killing me since those words keep replay in my life, with different ways. orang yg cakap nk ada dengan kita tu just at the temporary momento, dan disappear with time. faded camtu je. as time goes by, kita yg terbiasa buat semua benda sorg2 ni akan mudah falling on lah kan once orang offer a hand..aku ni mudah cair sket.

aku tengah mengajar hati untuk take this as positive as i could, kuatkan hati. pelangi petang ni kalau Allah nk tarik tak sampai sekelip mata. tambah2 untuk yg fragile mcm ni. omg. let me prepare first.

rezeki ramadhan

bersiaran lagi di bulan ramadhan yang mulia.
sahur pagi tadi makan kuih2 yang tak abes berbuka semalam.
tamak haloba gi bazar semua nak.
so, i fined myself to finish all that supaya tak membazir huhu.
tapi popia basah crunchies with sauce plus peanut on top semalam was sgt marvellous!

few days ago ciktee was here.
and friday takde nak buat ape we went to Mesra Mall, had a walk.
even tak smpai sploh minute dah abes round.
singgah Coffee Bean yg baru bukak tapaokan apa yg boleh.
cam biasa survey2 cookies sbb all food nampak awesome.
nak tapao coffee over sgt sbb jam baru pukul 4.
and few minutes aku duk tercegat depan kaunter nunggu waitress duk layan other customer, one guy came and smile "cik ani kan? igt saya tak?".
aku ni jenis blur tetambah puasa. "ye saya...urmm..sape eh?"
"saya, student yg miss tlg buat research dulu"
"owwwhhh.. sorry2. igt. owh, dah kj dah awak eh". sengeh.
"dah buat order? miss nak ape?"
aku pun buat order, pastu nerves sbb org knal.hahaha.
"ok, miss, collect order kat hujung sana. arini saya belanja".
my Goodness, tgk nametag, owh Assistant Manager.
hurmm..terharunya la hai.

bila dapat kindheart students yg datang approach camni rasa mcm touching sgt.
aku bukannya ngajar depa ni satu semester.
just jumpa 2,3 kali, then whatsup je byk.
kdg emel.
tu yg kdg susah nk recognize.

rasa mcm dah tak berapa muda bila students ko dah kerja.
haha.
semoga Allah memberi kebaikan dan barakah kepada korg smua yg masih igt ai.
aamiiinn..

klmj

benda kecik, kalau sntiasa difikir-fikirkan, jadi besar.
ia membinasakan.
meruntuhkan silaturahim.
dan memberi kemurungan.

sometimes it comes from sepotong ayat yang dlm conversation biasa, or even been texted.
and how could people just spell their words to us, without considering our feelings.
i am sensetip on that hokeh.
and i was just 'tergamaknya kau cakap camtu'.

remember my mom taught me that kalau kita xnak org buat kat kita, jgn buat kat org.
but then nowadays, org, tergamak je buat apa2 kat kita, even kita x buat kat dia.
know what i meant kan.
the long term ship u have with them dont guarantee that they are best for u.
org ckp takyah lah pk, tak penting.
but then if it doesnt come from their thoughts then where from that words came?

oh my people.
why so cruel.

i have been asked that "who is your best friend?".
and it takes me sometime to think you know.
even i raised out a few name and they will asking me back .
"ye ke?does she closed to bla..bla.. rather than you?".
i was just, "eh!pls dun question me boleh?".
dan terus membawa diri, and listen to Faded-Alan Walker.
teruk kan...huhu.

bff

bestfriend can be lover or not.
tajuk kat era.fm.

jawapan aku: tak pasti.
tapi yg sure, aku jenis tak reti nak sayang org sikit-sikit.
so then aku tatau aku syg org tu sbnrnya for love or for friend.
haha. teruk sungguh.

lately one of my bff ade FB-ing me.
and it makes me recall life with him zaman2 blaja dulu.
it wasnt involve feeling lovey dovey, dia lebih kepada abang adik yg memang aku marah kalo ko tak siap asgmt, suka time dia ajak lepak, ok time dia suh kejut pagi, and so forth.
and the sweet moment is time knvo dia g jmpa aku bawak tunang dia.
and i was like, owhhh tahniah.
tapi aku tak kecik ati.
pastu lost contact dan contact balik lately after our fren up gamba zaman dulu2 time nak g kelas.
time bff ngn dia dulu ramai jgk la org jeles, aku mcm what the heck org nk jeles.
tapi lagi kami buat hal.
aku penah je nak marah tolak meja dlm bilik kuliah, sampai terbalik meja, and seb baik dia sambut.
"mung kalu nk maroh memey parok".
pastu aku blah, tapi dia pujuk.
hahaha.

zaman dulu.

yg tiba2 nak jadi bff pon ade, tapi aku xleh go on, sbb ramai sgt org tak suka dia.
aku ni kdg2 dapat org yg 'baki-baki' org tak brapa suka.
hahaha.
nasib.

so, that feeling.

zaman skolah rendah aku ade bff laki.
dia akan lepak depan umah aku tggu nk g skolah.
balik sekolah saing sama nek beskal.
dia slalu pinjam buku skolah aku tiru homework.
dia slalu bagi pinjam komik, anak org ada2, slalu blnja makan.
time nk study group mmg dia dulu smpai umah aku.
org kg duk bcakap pasal kitorg, tapi ...alaahhh.budak skolah rendah je kot.
masuk skolah menengah lost cntact.
masuk uni, aku pnh cntact dia skali, tapi aku rasa dia mcm tetiba x brapa nk frenly.
segan mungkin. pastu lepas tu makin jauh makin jauh.
dia problem  skit, aritu dgr citer dia ade involve ngn org2 yg x berfaedah.
padahal dah kawen, anak tiga rasanya.
ada add kat fb, tapi silent.
hmm.. masa dia kawen abah ada btau.
aku was like "owh..."
gitu je.huhu.

yg aku takleh lupa sampai bila2 is yg kwn whom aku anggap bff, dan dia pun ckp kita bff, tapi ko take for granted, dan dtg time ko suka.
banyak kali on-off tapi at last i decide aku off smpai bila-bila.

kawan-kawan.
rindu pulak.

note: i talk about kawan lain gender ;)

maybe

maybe yang jahat itu aku, kerana tak memahami.
i tend to curse myself for being too good to people who i decide them to be stay with.
maybe i am the one who so very easy to be twisted by them into their life.
maybe all the fault turn to me.

yes, u are all right.
you think that people have to understand you.
you think i am the one who need to feel your life, be in your shoes.
and then...what you do is cursing me for asking you to follow my rules.

and now, whose to blame?

maybe this is the perfect time to us, to walk to our own way.
with our own rules.
those who want to stay, stay.
who don't, leave.

but once you turn, i might left you far.
let the heart and gut tell..

stress

to be fren with me is different from working with me.
i do not know what is the feeling but i know it must be a stress experience.
(kawan2 kalau stress dgn i jgn tgur i sehari then be fren again after it like nothing happen.i'll be okay)

well, stress pushes our life to work harder (for me lah).
kalau tak stress, buat keja main-main and you'll be like doing routines without passion.
lagipun, bukannya selalu, eventually lah jugak kan.
lagi2 tgh2 bulan (ohemgee).


sorry for giving stress to you people.


k bai.

a friend

this entry is for my closed fren.

i am very upset to hear the very unhappy things happened to you.
and after your very down day last month, this month (which would coming to you soon) would be the extra unhappy thing you'll faced.
yes, the hikmah for you of not having that, but then, we know, the sebalik tabir of that,
you (and also me) have sacrifice more for holding him.

for him to appreciate, i do not know.
but what could we do is, controlling ours.
let us stop being sincere to those people like him.
know what, it is like, omg seriyesly??!!!

let us delete him from our life.
lets!

raining and fren.

it is raining right here..
well, tday is monday, blues is around the corner.
but last nite i was woke up at 416am and cant sleep even hardly tired like sakit pinggang but still cant further sleep anymore..hujan petir smua wasnt the inspiration anymore.
for the last seminar i stayed at my fren apartment whixch she lives there with her Catnis, a cat..huhu.
nevermind, a cat pon a cat lah.

by the way, lepak with a fren who know u for a long time is kind a theraphy, who would bash and smash u in everything u did wrong without any filter..
of course they are better than who cover2 and comfort u in anyway.
kalau sakit ati pon at least she telling u the truth, and not aibkan u in public kinda thing.
kata fren for a life time kan.
pedih tu mmg dah.
but  dah memang itulah the reality.
i just like oke fine, i would learn the lesson.
and she just like "last time pon ckp camtu jugak, hey!wake up pls"
and..i was like, telan je mee and cont asking, tukar topic and talk about theses and assignments..haha.
tau pon salah sndiri.

i am not a good fren.
a put in more emotion on a frenship.
i expect more more a relationship.
i build a high hope in everything.
i take serious in every single thing.
and...i believe in miracle yang tak wujud.
oh my..dun dance in others wind.
and.. i admit that..its all about me.
huhu.

them

mesti dia tengah susah hati kalo tetiba texted di pagi hari.
pagi yang selepas dua tiga minit punch in.huhu

i just ..can feel it..

**

beb, smlm mimpi lg.

for this week asyik dia je dlm mimpi aku.

that day when i was at mall, i just saw a man with his face.

know what, that face did disturb me to stare smpai abes kelibat..

aku giler ke hapa.

huhu.

my God, help these two people to achieve their good things in their life.

i am no longer with them.

but still i want the best for them.

and yet, pls dont let us meet in any circumstance.

i dont want to drag mylife to theirs...again.

jika bukan untuk longterm..

pls Allah...plsss...

seminar 3

my travelog cont. last weekend.

after berhempas pulas keja, kita g blaja lah pulak.

presenting all the assignments and drafts..

ade yang kena argue, ade yg dah submit, ade yg pending.

aku malas nak layan sgt perangai malas dan merajuk aku ni, so aku kna push diri utk setel all these things mengikut flow org. i will do on what you want me to do, as long as i could end these messes.

argue2 ni penat tau, nak kna pk points, nak clarify dan sebagainya.

and of course, at that time, kita adalah seorang. takde back up2.

so kalo rasa nak argue tu, pk dulu sekeliling..

kukuh tak statement kita, ade tak sape2 bleh backup.

kalo tade smua tu, baik ko iyekan aje.

*haih, stress nampak.

this time i have my hosmet along these three days.
thanks tiwani

sbb dua org, wefie jadi banyak.
haha..trus2 smpai g OU.
mmg tawaf sungguh.
mcm biasa, aku je yg dpt hasilnya.haha

boleh dah nk smbung PhD, gaya dah ade.
haha..

the library coffee bar.
what attract me most is the word "LIBRARY"
and the caption bawah waiting no dia tu
"they say good things come to people who wait"
my goodness, how they know i am waiting for ....miracles..
*eh!

this is the gorgeous partner for my study.
kak balqis is very supportive and...hilarious..
and baik hati

lps sentap2 ngan lecturers and asgmts
kita isi perut puas2.
aidid was very annoying nangis2 sbb
moknik nak makan makanan org china.huhu

this is my niece.
besau dah kakak

and she asked me "do you have a boyfriend?"
and i was just..."why u ask kakak?"
dan perbualan itew membawa kepada..
"kakak kecik lagi, pjg lagi kesah kakak, then u'll know"

kaison is very nice.
tempat lepak wajib..

slps merendek di pasar stadium smlm,
smpat singgah balik stia city to buy some presents to school project.
aku dah mcm seorang cikgu skolah.
..takpe lah

my study corner,
kna beli satu lagi frem spaya ia cukup korum.
lps blaja ni kita penuhkan wall ni.
biar jadi kaison dungun plak.

ok, done.

smoga aku bjaya.

huhu

cafe & bff

weekend lepas i attended 2nd seminar.

aku malas plak nk citer psl seminar tu since i got no feeling to have the classes.

takde semangat gitu.

huhu.

so aku citer yg best2 je..

after class i brought kakja famili to sunway pyramid.

*with no pic.

ahad sblm balik dgun i wen to my fren house at bangi.

driving miles and miles for a bfast and having quality time with bff were worthed!

sploh minit aku depan pintu umah dia hokay.

aku dah last intention after beberapa kali ketuk tak bukak.

nak call kredit xpired, wasap x reply.

logik2, sbb baru pkul 7.45pam.hehe.

dia igt aku peminta derma makan2 flat dia.chaiitt..huhu.

she brought me to have bfast sekitar sect 9.
beb, makanan kat bangi lagi murah dari dungun hokay.
makan dua org RM 11.50..
wat der fish!

then singgah minum coffee plak..
owh, inilah zawara yg sponsor johara tu ye.
nice cafe.
tak de rase2 nak buka kat dungun tak taukey?

deco dia cantik.
simple and vintage.
dan ahkak ni pun vintage.haha.
seni laa mung ni kak hend..

pemilihan makanan memakan masa xsmpai 10 min.
next time la kita makan chuross nye ye.
jgn sdey2.

ni kedai sebelah dia.
well, sbb awal sgt kdai ni x buka lagi.
sedap la posing.
btw, cafe zawara buka pkul 9.
so, kami xle la merewang2 sekitar tu.

potret..hehe

pejam mata dengan gembira!!

sepenungguan coffee

deco depan kedai is chanteq.
maka harus la sekeping dua pose di sini.

ni namanya posing menunggu tak kunjung tiba
tapi gembira.
haha

pandai photographer setting frame..tq

ok dah..
jom bawak aku g alamanda.!

dua cup coffee latte membawa aku pulang ke dungun.

tapi kalau dah mengantuk, ko telan la kopi kapal api pon mngantuk juge.

lama kali ni aku benti R&R gambang btulkan urat sana sini.

kena ade umah urut la aku rasa kat R&R ni..kann.

k bai.

oh my gosh

tak, aku takde la benci sangat kat dia.
aku cuma tak suka dia buat camni.
may be mood aku tgh swing and he just came with the gurau2..
kna la tempias sedikit sbyk.
but then dont he know that it was the harsh words.
aku mmg sensetif hokay.
dah kata knal sgt, then..

well, u may not hear a sorry from a man with high ego.
but then, once you hear him say sorry then he just leave,
rasa macam krikk krikk la pulak.
haih, say sorry, pastu blah.
nak pujuk camana lagi nya.

well, friendship sometime is quite complicated than relationship.
yes, it might be better in friendship, but alaahai..
malasnya nak pujuk2.
org dah pujuk tak jalan.
nak buat tak tau tapi kpala pk.
tak sukanya

pre-vacation #bff

i got too excited when the vacation dah dekat..
sampai aku terdemam dua ari, and cont with cerry berry hingga ke hari ini.
today i guess the illness might be reduced since semalam dah gi klinik. and i have google some treatments; go find isotonic drinks and bananas, and have minuman mempunyai bakteria baik untuk memberi kesihatan yang baik.
inshaAllah lah kan, semuanya akan baik.

last friday my bff has emailed us the tentative for the vacation.
lagi best kalo kita duk dekat2 and bleh buat preparation together.
baru laa nak selongkar closet seeking for tracksuit, g cari sport shoes bagai.
know what, suar track mmg pakai time2 g vacay je. nak arap bsukan tahun bila ntah.
i dun really like sport, but nature walk, of course i like.hehe.

even with the limited time, of course we try to make it precious.
nak bkumpul setahun sekali pon susah dah sekarang.
everyone with her own commitment.
and as day passes, people get married, and some has migrated to other place, except me who would always available in any way..hehe..

menyeronokkan..

mmg akan slalu ade yg lost the train,
so the admin manage to make a grup.
admin haruslah bekeng dan mempunyai karisma dlm
pengurusan rekod dan dokumentasi.
who is appointed to Durt.. hehe

actually aku excited2 ni, next week ade program library, but seems like smua org relax je.

aku xleh relax2 ni, x seronok.

kalut2 kan best, keja jalan, pastu when the time come, kita dah relax bleh pk what else we want to add on to make it nice.

know what, i got no rhythm yet in the "new" working envy.

stakat ni i just try to get into them.

i wish soon i get the seronok to work here which i am not found it yet.

kalo kat umah sewa of course very fun..hehe.

so, priority lebih ke rumah sewaku syurgaku..haha..over mak.

okies, continue excited till the day..

^___^

farewell and anniversary

02 June, genap aku 7tahun di UiTM..

how Allah blesses me, i cant tell.

skali ngn farewell adik2 praktikal ni, so, jom celebrate.

wish all the best for our victories.

sya lagi sbln, ifah hujung mggu ni.
kita skalikan je lah.

^____^

black and white

best plak main2 benda ni.

lama dah x asah skill.

ade lg ke?huhu

since akulah pengapit, akulah escort pengantin ke sana sini,

akulah yg touch up pengantin, abes rosak gambo..

never be the same again

i hate that when your face appear in my eyes even you are not there.
i hate that when i stare at your face for moments while your stories seems like never end.
i hate that seeing you as it was the last time i able to see you as you are like this.
i hate that...

but i still hope you able to get survive on your chosen dream.
i still hope you can achieve your dream and being somebody soon.
i still hope you can smile like this when i see you soon.
i still hope that i can choose your drink at the menu and you just oke with that...
i still hope we can sit like this, having good conversation, and you talk like time is not running even the sky getting dark and night is coming..
i still hope we could ever meet again.

no, i dun want to see you again.

Kbai...huhu

bcz i know u wont be the same again next time i see you if God willing.
*crying to banjir...huhu

k bai.

nice

after a boring session in office yesterday, i called my ex-practical student to have lunch since she lives around. and lucky me I do not have to attend another course at main campus (again) this week.

alhamdulillah.. excitement lebih pls!

lps solat zohor semalam i got good idea for the cukur jambul thing for little ainur marissa this friday.

For Zara Sofea that day i takleh balik bcz of kjp jadi kjp tak jadi (and it hurt my dad too) so i decide not to balik lah. so i cover dgn yg ni.

that day was ciktee who incharge on this.

kalau ikut kegilaan aku of course i want to have photo booth bagai.

but mom wont agree i thought since we are not that urban for that.

tunggu baby sendiri lah..

harapnya takde lah org akan spoilkan mood nanti..hehe..

dinner date ysterday also with Mahirah.

she suggested to have dinner at Hola West which din cross to mymind since that was her treat.

consider cz she tak kerja lagi.

but, why not lah kan, dia insisted.

nunggu the Hola West bukak pkul 6, we lepak2 at tepi pantai.
the shells were so nice.
and my mind imagined lots to have these creatures for home deco.
haha..kalau ma tau msti dia kata buat semak je.

lunch. sudahnya prawn macaroni tu half aku yg kna abeskan.
that Mahirah not favy the creamy cheese yg byk2 camtu.
but i loike.
abes diet mak pls!
Butterscotch latte was nice and sweet.

oh, this is mahirah.
she sgt nice and cool.
slalu budak2 comey ni control lebih but not her.
thanks for the kindness ye mahirah.
soon we could be geng faculty and coursemate.
haruslah kita bgembira sebelum tau result next week.
maiGod!

Grill Beef at Hola West with Harimau Malaya drink tidak mengecewakan.
sudu di dlm hidangan di atas adalah Just-In-Case..
hehehe..fail table ethic!

i found that yesterday was so nice.

i wish for the nice day for today and tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.

i hope i will able to enjoy wat come to me as well.

my hope also goes to the goodness and kindness.

k bye.

tabung subuh

sesuatu sgt aku rasa dari semalam.
rasa mcm ringan kepala.
hehe..

after a small discussion and sharing from a buddies-15 friend last week, semua disarankan untuk wujudkan tabung subuh, which means u create a tabung for a sedekah every morning selepas solat subuh.
and u niatkan a thing to hold u the whole day.
and it works i think.

yakin.
Allah kan selalu ada.

ok, back to the tabung subuh.
SOP dia create a tabung mcm aku tulis tadi, then labelkan Tabung Subuh.
masukkanlah berapa2 yg ikhlas.
at the end of a term, group tabung subuh ni jumpa and gabungkan that money, and sedekahkan kepada yg memerlukan. u all decide lah nak bagi anak yatim ke, Palestin ke, any charity lah kan.

good idea from Noudi.

semoga kita istiqamah.

daaa..

*semalam yg tewasnya aku..huhu.
not good kan.
cuba lagi arini.

hilang

kalau aku hilang...



kau cari tak?