struggle

i am so blessed these days.
terima kasih Allah for all the rahmat You give- friends and crowd, and rezekis.

i'v been reading few entries framing sounded like 'jgn igt org result tak bagus tak bleh g jauh'.
its fine to comfort them who related, but the same ways membuatkan org high achievers feel 'owh, kalau gitu tak yah la score tinggi2, buat lek je lah exam, ala kadar.kalau good score tak semestinya goes well in future' kinda thing.
it makes high achievers feel crap you know.
then membuatkan org2 lemau nak study.
mcm bersalah plak dapat good scores.
tau, kdg org rendah score tapi kj bagus, kdg org high achievers tak leh perform time keja.
tapi, in term of exam, jangan la cakap camtu.
mak sentap nakkk..

aku pun kdg deliver speech tak fluent.
lost words, dan kdg2 audience sambung ayat.
pastu sesama gelak.
i am not saying i had excellent nau in my exams, but boleh dikatakan hokay la.
but you know that not all people born excel cenggitu je.
they struggle on that.
bertahajud, solat hajat, minta dengan Allah, tak tdo malam, sacrifice times.
tetambah plak bebudak bidang core mcm medic, acc, law.
ok la kalau nk kata yg score kurang pun buat semua tu, tapi my highlight is pada yng score kurang ko study tak berapa org study ko g dating, main2 time asgmt pastu claim "alaa, high achievers tak menjanjikan masa depan" . kau rasa?
ateleast they are complying one of criteria di mata interviewer hokay.
lain la kalo ko mmg ade softskills yg bagus bleh convince org kj.
atau mmg dah tertulis di luhmahfuz ko mmg excel dalam life ko kan.

me struggle very much to get score yang telah dapat.
as for me, struggle as much u can, to get good score or not, depends on your struggleness tu la.
tapi slalunya Allah dah btau "those yang berusaha, pasti akan dapat apa yg diusahakan".
these feeling is when most of people around yg nampak tak brapa nak 'berusaha' pastu duk kata 'alaa..result tinggi pon ...bla..bla..bla..tgk dia tu...bla..bla..dulu blaja kemain excellent, skang tgk, aku lebih..bla.bla.'
eh engkau!
emosi plak ai.

ahad aritu ade recognition day on Hari Inovasi.
and I saw people who got recognition from uni, and riak muka masing2 mmg deserved.
since i was among them, kita rasa dihargai dalam menjalani amanah dan tanggungjawab.
it is not like riak you know, i was like "alhamdulillah, then we would work harder, this is a motivation, and inspiration to us" kinda thing.
how struggle we were in our routines.
some of them aku pnah jumpa balik kj dah nak maghrib.
some of them tak berkira time buat kj.
after all, do not sound like 'alaa.depa kaki kipas' and those all bad things, tak baik.
mmg kalau ikutkan penggiliran to get that award tu ada kat most department.
rezeki is masing2 lah kan..
buleh dak kalau pk yg baik2.
amik yang positive dari mereka2 ni, them apply.
depa dapat, kita dapat.

even the recognition award refers to my 2015 punya kerja, but i positively put my 2016 as my bz-ness year which deserved to be highlighted.
and the most thing i sacrificed much on 2016 was to focus on Anugerah Kualiti Rektor, pelaporan 2016.
giler aku tercabar dgn mantan TKP last year masuk tak menang.
setiap meeting kena perli.
atlast aku buat dua org, amik idea je ramai2.
and Allah gives us Naib Johan. dia punya seronok terbawa2 sampai ke hari ni.
penat lelah weyh. org bcuti chrismast kita buat report.
org celeb newyear kita dtg opis.
bergaduh2 selisih faham.
Allah itu baik, dan sayang kita semua. Dia bagi.

selepas episod tukar tempat keja 2013, i can tell that 2013 and 2014 were the years i built the trust and believeness that the mgt could count on me in doing things to sama-sama naikkan department ni.
and 2015 i got lots of tasks (amekaw!).
2016 kita harvest dia punya hasil.
and i could tell that 2016 is my bright year, since my previous bright year is 2010.

more years to go.
hope istiqamah,
and Allah, pls give me strength.
semoga diconvertkan tanggungjawab ini sebagai ibadah.

mom always says, there are much ways to make her proud, use your brain.
ada ilmu, jangan bongkak, tawakal.
and i kept her words, sampai mati.
inshaAllah.