marriage advice

i lent my ears to my fren just now.
she talked about her marriage. she was (and is) unhappy. 
she married on 2015, and got one daughter.
she just doesnt get why her husband went to her home and asked her parents to marry him.
tunang pun sbb my fren yg mintak, kalo tak dia terus nk majlis.
they din even bercinta. keja satu bumbung doesnt mean kenal each other.
everything and everyone macam mendesak dia utk terima.
she came to me masa awal2 pinangan, but since everyone time tu excited that she would got married finally, at 40th, aku pun suh dia pertimbangkan baik2. dalam tempoh bertunang tu aku suh dia ajak jumpa,date utk knal2 kinda thing.
masa tu myfren mcm kata tak nampak serasi tapi dia kata dia cuba.
yg si laki tu mcm selamba saja, dah ko yg dtg pinang anak org, tunjuk la sikit effort ko. tapi berdasarkan cerita2 dia bgtau tu aku xnmpk sgt. mcm famili je beria lebih.
aku memang hangin bab2 ni. but time tu aku pujuk hati dan dia juga, cinta boleh dipupuk, so pupuk je lah.
aku ade suh dia tanya sedara mara semua, pastu decide. aku tanak la plak aku yg menjadi punca tak jadi ke camana ke.
tapi itu 3 years ago. 3 years.

and just now she came, telling me the stories.
sepanjang marriage she never got the nafkah fee. dia yang menyara keluarga.
keperluan anak smua dia yg cukupkan. kpluan laki dia pun sama.
kdg dia buat loan nk cover. gaji sama amount tapi duit minyak keta mintak dengan dia.
apa2 yg tak kena sepak meja. 
dan yg paling tak patut, dia pernah dicederakan.

she said she has referred pejabat guaman syariah kinda thing, tapi depa tak layan sebab takde saksi, xde bukti. omg. the solution that lawyer gave - u have to get out from the house for 4 months berapa ari ntah, then baru boleh tuntut kat court kindathing. beb, keja sebumbung, rumah tu rumah myfren, belakang je umah parents dia. nak lari ke mana. kalo dia x dtg keja 4months sbb lari, sape nak sara dia dan anak dia.

omg. her husband is kinda parasit. 
dia kadang geram and ever cross in her mind that why that guy mcm kalut2 mintak dia dulu. nak kawen sbb apa? sbb umur dah lanjut, kawen sbb org kawen, sbb nafsu semata? tak sayang ke?
tak bersyukur punya orang..

kesian beb. nk suh dia sabar, mmg dah sabar la tu kan, 3 years.
i remember ceramah Prof Muhaya - org pompuan ni 2 benda je decision yg boleh mengubah hidup dia, the rest of her life. salah satunya "terima atau tak time kawen". once u pilih terima, u need to hadap baik buruk. talak is not on our hands, kalao dpt yg buat hal pastu tanak pulak lepaskan kita, what to do? yes dia akan tanggung kat sana nanti, di dunia yang fana ini camana kita yg nak hadap tu. depan org lain pijak semut tak mati, ko hingat org nk pcaya??


hangin pulak aku.

Allahu, semoga yg mempunyai masalah yg seperti ini dikuatkan hati.
Yang hidup helok sorg2 cam ahkak ni, semoga Allah jauhkan orang2 bermasalah seperti ini dalam hidup. Amminnn...

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