last two months (oh God, arini dah masuk february!), ai find out that my weight dah lain mcm.
baju dah sendat tang bumper, trasa berat semacam.
aku rasa dah citer sblm ni.haha.
so kesah counting calories tu bergerak cantik sehingga last two weeks.
mmg nak g jjcm kat shah alam (jer) sesambil amik ciktee.
well, org kampung mmg suka jalan bandar.
org bandar plak beriya nk jalan kg, kan.
itulah kita, manusia. mencari kesempurnaan dalam dunia fana ni.
alaah, tak kemana pun, round2 mall.
makan2 sket.
tgk wayang sket; pastu tak paham citer apa yg kitorg tgk, tapi tgk jer sbb org blnja. tq buddy.
jalan2 sampai malam.
lebih adventure sket sbb duk hotel bajet.
makan2 kat sana tak plak aku masukkan dlm MyFitnessPal.
takut kecewa. so aku ikut flow je.
sblm balik aku g singgah IOI City Mall tu.
sesambil g makeup free kat Sephora, g jugak cari weightscale kat area2 situ.
and now sehari pat lima kali timbang kau.
timbang masa derma darah aritu 67kg.
sblm balik kg aritu 64 kg, pastu balik smlm timbang 62 kg.
eh, aku rasa boleh tahan nafsu mkn kat kg even 4 ari, pagi petang makan nasik.
mcm mustahil lah plak.
eleh, padahal gembira.
haha.
ok, my journey to 55kg proceed.
gigih aku g mncari peanut butter with no sugar. jumpa hokay.
pastu cari pulak Ahmad Green Tea. jumpa.
so skang, smua bnda ada.
yg tak pasti ada ke tak is motivasi.
aku doakan aku konsisten.
tak bleh dah nk celebrate every victory dgn makan tak hingat.
aku kna tukar cara celebrating victory *tgh pk*
stkt ni yg konsisten is no sugar for drink water.
tapi kalo kat umah aku minum je sbb mak dah buat.
dan bila g umah org, takkan nak order air masak plak. ko igt kdai mamak?
so, next jjcm aku kna control portion.
harapnya kesah journeyto55 ni mencapai kejayaan.
sebelum raya nt. amiinnn..
kisah mak kutu
lately aku ralit plak baca cerita2 dkt IIUMC confession tu.
ni skang ni aku nk buat confession sket.huhu.
aku ni bukanlah suka sgt bermain kutu ni since aku rasa org yg main kutu ni mcm mak-mak yg tak reti nk saving sndiri. tapi tiga tahun lps since aku dtg kat tmpt baru ni, aku try berjinak2.
and my first time aritu sgt impressive, so aku continue la main dgn org lain plak.
but my second time ni jadi mcm lain plak.
aku tgh nervous ni sbb katanya arini dia akan bagi full balance.
suppose bagi 20 ari lps, tapi delay sbb katanya dia sukar nk collect sbb gaji org2 swasta masuk lmbt.
but then, Christmas kot, x logik gaji masuk lewat. tapi aku iyakan saja.
pastu ttiba ckp tertinggal kad bank kat rumah. eh!
ok, aku bereh lagi. kekonon cool.
tapi dah rasa lain mcm dah.
pastu smlm ade mkn2 kat opis, so aku join la mcm biasa.
pastu sohseh2 cerita delay kutu aku ni rupanya spread around dah.
depa ckp budak tu mmg problem bab finance ni.
eh!
duit org ko buat main2.
semalam dia dtg, btau kawan2 dia yg kata dah bank in tu rupanya boleh tak masukkan duit tu kat dia.
kununnya dia mcm kna kelentong.
aku dah cuak.
dia dtg bagi pat keping duit not lima ploh.
aku punya jumlah ribu kot.
aku dah cuak skali lagi.
dan mula lah syaitonirrajim mghasut suh pcaya ckp2 akak opis blakang.
nervous aku menjadi2.
semua kj dah takleh buat.
aku ckp kat budak tu, "by hook or by crook, esok (arini) saya nk balance tu semua ade di meja saya sebelum tghari.buat lah camana pun!"
aku tgh menyusun ayat nk bash ni.
seb baik aku x tggu duit ni utk bayar roadtax ritu.
tapi mmg rabak lah jugak poket.
tapi ni duit aku, apsal main guna2 camtu.
dan skang sorg2 dtg mai citer psl kisah kutu aku ni,
kunun ksian.
tapi mmg ksian dowh aku rasa.
dan kecewa.
alaahaai.
sanggupnya la buat camtu.
padahal ko staf aku.
duk seopis.
mak ayah hasben smua kj satu kampus.
tergamaknya kau.
ni mmg last aku berkutu.
kbai.
*sambung sedeyh.
ni skang ni aku nk buat confession sket.huhu.
aku ni bukanlah suka sgt bermain kutu ni since aku rasa org yg main kutu ni mcm mak-mak yg tak reti nk saving sndiri. tapi tiga tahun lps since aku dtg kat tmpt baru ni, aku try berjinak2.
and my first time aritu sgt impressive, so aku continue la main dgn org lain plak.
but my second time ni jadi mcm lain plak.
aku tgh nervous ni sbb katanya arini dia akan bagi full balance.
suppose bagi 20 ari lps, tapi delay sbb katanya dia sukar nk collect sbb gaji org2 swasta masuk lmbt.
but then, Christmas kot, x logik gaji masuk lewat. tapi aku iyakan saja.
pastu ttiba ckp tertinggal kad bank kat rumah. eh!
ok, aku bereh lagi. kekonon cool.
tapi dah rasa lain mcm dah.
pastu smlm ade mkn2 kat opis, so aku join la mcm biasa.
pastu sohseh2 cerita delay kutu aku ni rupanya spread around dah.
depa ckp budak tu mmg problem bab finance ni.
eh!
duit org ko buat main2.
semalam dia dtg, btau kawan2 dia yg kata dah bank in tu rupanya boleh tak masukkan duit tu kat dia.
kununnya dia mcm kna kelentong.
aku dah cuak.
dia dtg bagi pat keping duit not lima ploh.
aku punya jumlah ribu kot.
aku dah cuak skali lagi.
dan mula lah syaitonirrajim mghasut suh pcaya ckp2 akak opis blakang.
nervous aku menjadi2.
semua kj dah takleh buat.
aku ckp kat budak tu, "by hook or by crook, esok (arini) saya nk balance tu semua ade di meja saya sebelum tghari.buat lah camana pun!"
aku tgh menyusun ayat nk bash ni.
seb baik aku x tggu duit ni utk bayar roadtax ritu.
tapi mmg rabak lah jugak poket.
tapi ni duit aku, apsal main guna2 camtu.
dan skang sorg2 dtg mai citer psl kisah kutu aku ni,
kunun ksian.
tapi mmg ksian dowh aku rasa.
dan kecewa.
alaahaai.
sanggupnya la buat camtu.
padahal ko staf aku.
duk seopis.
mak ayah hasben smua kj satu kampus.
tergamaknya kau.
ni mmg last aku berkutu.
kbai.
*sambung sedeyh.
being normal
being a normal person nowadays requires me to learn lots.
(so that you call yourself not normal kah? --well, sometimes).
you have to do work slowly, not eager to reach the deadline and dateline.
you don't have to be so detail bcz people doing things so relax and chill, mistakes are things to be corrected and that's normal, don't push yourself too much. you are not a mutant.
you are allowed to not replying the msg or text or whatever you see promptly so then people would ask to again and again then you would be as the most wanted person and people like that. delay, yes,. people like to delay in most things.
you should not eager to hold into a relationship or whatever ship, because when people need you, then they would stick on you, don't need to semangat sgt.
do not over appreciate people around you, normal people do not do that.
you don't need to fulfill promises since people always don't remember that and buat-buat lupa sometimes they did that just to manis mulut and please you for ..you know, their kepentingan.
and i nowadays learn to be like that since i think only me that bersemangat.
yes, i am full of desire and giving full commitment in each every thing i hold to in my life.
things like these bring me down much since i believe life is each other business and we commit each other to fill it.
hmmm..
continue learning lah gini..
(so that you call yourself not normal kah? --well, sometimes).
you have to do work slowly, not eager to reach the deadline and dateline.
you don't have to be so detail bcz people doing things so relax and chill, mistakes are things to be corrected and that's normal, don't push yourself too much. you are not a mutant.
you are allowed to not replying the msg or text or whatever you see promptly so then people would ask to again and again then you would be as the most wanted person and people like that. delay, yes,. people like to delay in most things.
you should not eager to hold into a relationship or whatever ship, because when people need you, then they would stick on you, don't need to semangat sgt.
do not over appreciate people around you, normal people do not do that.
you don't need to fulfill promises since people always don't remember that and buat-buat lupa sometimes they did that just to manis mulut and please you for ..you know, their kepentingan.
and i nowadays learn to be like that since i think only me that bersemangat.
yes, i am full of desire and giving full commitment in each every thing i hold to in my life.
things like these bring me down much since i believe life is each other business and we commit each other to fill it.
hmmm..
continue learning lah gini..
calories counting days
i am still cont counting calories intake, until semalam, kecundang mkn nasi kerabu overdose.
tapi mengikut myfitnesspal nasikerabu daging bakar cabai solok tak smpai 400 cal pon.
so, aku rasa selamat lah, even perut trasa kenyang sgt.
pastu sblm tu, aku try amik detox drink tghari..
mmg berlumba la ke toilet.
smpai solat pun terganggu.
campak cenggitu je telekung.haha.
tragis.
lesson learnt: minum detox drink mlm je pls.
calories intake, even takde la tepat sgt kerana tak timbang, make me feel that i am dieting.
makan rasa mcm terkawal, tak kenyang sgt, tapi tak lapar.
dia rasa steady je.
nengok ke org duk share2 dlm Kelab Diet Kalori tu mcm over pun ade.
smpai stress.
aku bukanlah nk kurus keding, cumanya tamau sakit kaki.
dan aku duk baca2 simptom kat tenet, katanya boleh menghala ke sakit2 serius.
dan aku mcm rasa ada bnda2 tu kat aku.
it has been a month i avoid air manis.
itu pun aku rasa affected kehidupan manis-manis yng membuatkan life mcm steady watlek wat pis.
tapi malam semalam aku bedal jgk milo 3 in 1 kat umah.
mcm tak ganjak dari aritu, so utk ngabiskannya aku mencadangkan utk amik smggu skali atau jrg2.
only at home.
boleh kannn...
kata kevin zahari, minum air manis boleh, tapi separuh gelas.
tak ke bazir?
*tapi slalu yg gomok2 cam ai ni reason dia klise, tamau membazir. =)
doakan perjalanan travelog mengejar kehidupan sihat ini berjalan dgn lancar.
pagi ni bfast coco crunch ngn susu.
hala ke tghari amik sandwiches ngn plainwater.
skip lunch sbb mlm kang twani nk masak kari kpala ikang.
kalori berganda.
kbai.
tapi mengikut myfitnesspal nasikerabu daging bakar cabai solok tak smpai 400 cal pon.
so, aku rasa selamat lah, even perut trasa kenyang sgt.
pastu sblm tu, aku try amik detox drink tghari..
mmg berlumba la ke toilet.
smpai solat pun terganggu.
campak cenggitu je telekung.haha.
tragis.
lesson learnt: minum detox drink mlm je pls.
calories intake, even takde la tepat sgt kerana tak timbang, make me feel that i am dieting.
makan rasa mcm terkawal, tak kenyang sgt, tapi tak lapar.
dia rasa steady je.
nengok ke org duk share2 dlm Kelab Diet Kalori tu mcm over pun ade.
smpai stress.
aku bukanlah nk kurus keding, cumanya tamau sakit kaki.
dan aku duk baca2 simptom kat tenet, katanya boleh menghala ke sakit2 serius.
dan aku mcm rasa ada bnda2 tu kat aku.
it has been a month i avoid air manis.
itu pun aku rasa affected kehidupan manis-manis yng membuatkan life mcm steady watlek wat pis.
tapi malam semalam aku bedal jgk milo 3 in 1 kat umah.
mcm tak ganjak dari aritu, so utk ngabiskannya aku mencadangkan utk amik smggu skali atau jrg2.
only at home.
boleh kannn...
kata kevin zahari, minum air manis boleh, tapi separuh gelas.
tak ke bazir?
*tapi slalu yg gomok2 cam ai ni reason dia klise, tamau membazir. =)
doakan perjalanan travelog mengejar kehidupan sihat ini berjalan dgn lancar.
pagi ni bfast coco crunch ngn susu.
hala ke tghari amik sandwiches ngn plainwater.
skip lunch sbb mlm kang twani nk masak kari kpala ikang.
kalori berganda.
kbai.
stability
hi 2017.
this morning newsfeed FB and roll IG all entries show anak2 first day skol.
some cries, some excited and some put hard faces.
well, fisrt day.
i cant even remember my first day at skol actually.
yg aku igt masa kat tadika, my mom walked jauh kot dari rumah bwk payung, dokong adik, hantar ngambik dari skolah. dulu skolah tadika mak x bagi nek biskal. bila dah cerdik sikit mak suh bonceng kakda, dan kdg2 kakja. amer? mmg tak la.
dats y anak2 pompuan sumer survivor, anak laki dimanja-manja.
and i obviously seen that in my families.
dats my parents kinda educating system, and u have yours.
or may be dats why people say 'dun marry guys from pantai timur, they are all lemau'.
well. it is a fact.
akak opis aku ni cuti arini check perut.
i met my exhosmet whom having a child and moved from the house last year to stay with her hubsy.
and talked about everyone has own agenda in moving on their lives -akak tu nt nak bsalin, and my current hosmet might getting marry this year, and i ...am thinking where to move since i cant afford to rent the house alone. giler RM750 a month, baik beli umah.
"tak best nya, masing-masing.sumer ade hal.twani nt lps kawen nk pindahh.mana nk cari hosmet"
sedey..
"ala..duk je la umah tu, kau kan dah stabil"
"stabil??"
stabil apakah maksud beliau.
org mungkin berezeki dari kehidupan dan status, ade org yg dari segi kerjaya.
mana satu kebahagiaan yg kau cari, itulah yg kau dpt.
nampak selesa kot life aku ni.
aku tak cari ke kebahagiaan satu lagi ke?
tatau la weyh.
org memandang kebahagian aku ini dari status kerjaya, pakai keta apa, padahal stiap hari pk jap lagi nak g makan ngn sape, nak makan ape, nak buat ape kejap lagi...
which is all are routines.
apakah aku bahagia dengan semua ini.
memikirkan semua itu adakah aku mempersoalkan rezeki Allah?
tidak juga.
aku memikirkan bagaimana aku nak facing all that with no tenses.
stabilnya finance dikatakan stabil kehidupan.
tidakkah dievaluasi dengan stabilnya emosi dan kerohanian?
yg dua ni aku masih terumbang ambing.
cukupkah ketahanan dan pengetahuan aku nak meredah hidup sorang2 menuju tuhan?
hey, giler aku tamau mencari teman seperhidupan.
cari, tapi pencarian itu tatau mana mahu mula.
di mana?
bagaimana?
siapa?
semak mikir.
resolusi tahun 2017 kah ini?
this morning newsfeed FB and roll IG all entries show anak2 first day skol.
some cries, some excited and some put hard faces.
well, fisrt day.
i cant even remember my first day at skol actually.
yg aku igt masa kat tadika, my mom walked jauh kot dari rumah bwk payung, dokong adik, hantar ngambik dari skolah. dulu skolah tadika mak x bagi nek biskal. bila dah cerdik sikit mak suh bonceng kakda, dan kdg2 kakja. amer? mmg tak la.
dats y anak2 pompuan sumer survivor, anak laki dimanja-manja.
and i obviously seen that in my families.
dats my parents kinda educating system, and u have yours.
or may be dats why people say 'dun marry guys from pantai timur, they are all lemau'.
well. it is a fact.
akak opis aku ni cuti arini check perut.
i met my exhosmet whom having a child and moved from the house last year to stay with her hubsy.
and talked about everyone has own agenda in moving on their lives -akak tu nt nak bsalin, and my current hosmet might getting marry this year, and i ...am thinking where to move since i cant afford to rent the house alone. giler RM750 a month, baik beli umah.
"tak best nya, masing-masing.sumer ade hal.twani nt lps kawen nk pindahh.mana nk cari hosmet"
sedey..
"ala..duk je la umah tu, kau kan dah stabil"
"stabil??"
stabil apakah maksud beliau.
org mungkin berezeki dari kehidupan dan status, ade org yg dari segi kerjaya.
mana satu kebahagiaan yg kau cari, itulah yg kau dpt.
nampak selesa kot life aku ni.
aku tak cari ke kebahagiaan satu lagi ke?
tatau la weyh.
org memandang kebahagian aku ini dari status kerjaya, pakai keta apa, padahal stiap hari pk jap lagi nak g makan ngn sape, nak makan ape, nak buat ape kejap lagi...
which is all are routines.
apakah aku bahagia dengan semua ini.
memikirkan semua itu adakah aku mempersoalkan rezeki Allah?
tidak juga.
aku memikirkan bagaimana aku nak facing all that with no tenses.
stabilnya finance dikatakan stabil kehidupan.
tidakkah dievaluasi dengan stabilnya emosi dan kerohanian?
yg dua ni aku masih terumbang ambing.
cukupkah ketahanan dan pengetahuan aku nak meredah hidup sorang2 menuju tuhan?
hey, giler aku tamau mencari teman seperhidupan.
cari, tapi pencarian itu tatau mana mahu mula.
di mana?
bagaimana?
siapa?
semak mikir.
resolusi tahun 2017 kah ini?
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