welcome 2017

yes, 2017 comes with bright morning after the hard fall rain semalam which bring the flood to the area yg rendah, including my rumah kg.but my mom said nothing to be worried, sikit je.
looking to the pic of 2016, i saw the working-pics conquered.
dua big projects IMD in one year, which is tak penah dibuat org but since both were organized to fulfill the KPI and VC insist, kena lah buat. and sgt enjoyable projects, i met many people, which now become my frens. alaaa.. rindu lah pulak.
Allah plans the best, abes je blaja 2016 , 11 Jan, terus start to meetings for that project.
and abes je dua2 projects, sambung dgn prject dulang tunang n kawen adik aku.
and after that, focus project report kualiti kat opis.
di samping tu celah2 organize kelab student.
mcm nk tumbang gak, but Allah knows best.
dlm bz2 sempat gak g vacay kat Rainbow Waterfall Sg. Lembing.
anta ciktee blaja, pastu g knvo.
and everything happens through the good flow.

2016 also affected relationships, good and bad.
sometimes it is good to make a move and leave, sebelum sakit hati bertambah-tambah.
and aku yakin, my move this time would not affect dia mcm sblm2 ni.
slalu kalau je aku buat kputusan nk move, dia dtg balik.
but i know, not this time.
i leave because i love.
myself. and give chance to me myself ke depan.
it is my big affected thing in my 2016.
2015 dah jadi skali, jadi lagi rupanya 2016.
hope 2017 ni tak de la lagi camni.
inshaAllah.

2016 is a good year for me in achieving my career well.
even i got APC for 2015, tapi sbb award diberi 2016, kira 2016 lah tu..
hehe.

inshaAllah, semoga 2017 would bring me prosperity and wellness.
and love.
Aminnn..

keluhan hujung tahun

terminate broadband.
tepon 5 kali baru clear.

ptg ni nk register postpaid.
Gen-Y, xde intenet mcm xde hala tuju.
huhu, hidup pon rasa useless.

umah sewa, bil air letrik blom bayor lagi.
astro pon sama.
awal tahun dpn kesahnya kna cari upah org potong rumput.

yg setel loan kreta ngn insurans nyawa je.
blom lagi spend makan2 awal tahun.

terase berat semuanya baru buat payment insurans roadtax.

tuptup PTPTN emel ade tunggakan.
celah mana dia kutip tunggakan tu tatau la.
katanya nak bleklist.
kwangasam, aritu aku semak penyata katanya clear.
tunggakan nak sama dgn baki loan dah.
mende ni?!!

mencik.

luahan hati,
peg. gomen yg kopak.

duniawi

meneruskan kesibukan duniawi yang aku jadikan ia sbagai ibadah extra di hari 'off-days' ni.
after presenting few papers, rupanya ade satu kriteria tertinggal.
mmg down brase, igtkan dah bleh nak berweekend dengan gembira.
and tday i decide to bfast kat office je.
thanks God i have a good pro chef Twani who brought some pastries home last nite.
"nanti bawak la gi office, bfast..."
she always prepare me good food.hehe

and yesterday i got a call from a junior.
well, rindu rupanya.
patut la these few days i also teringat jgk kat dia.
chemistry tu, nampak tak.
biasa la bckp ngn aku, gosip manjang.
smpaikan dia nk letak pon aku x bagi.
hover clover betul mak...

my krismas weekend ends up kat kg je this year.
with these papers.
huhu.

calorie counting days - day 8 :)

4days diet

progress diet aku berjalan dengan lancar.
memang memerlukan pengorbanan beb, kdg aku rasa lemau berpeluh-peluh.
time weekend last week takpe la duk umah boleh kejap2 minum air, makan oat cookies.
time kat opis ni rasa heartbeat pon slow je.
ari first aku gagah g beli mineral water.
tapi makin ari makin reduce plak plain water aku amik.
huhu. mmg habit pemalas minum air.
and these four days x amik air manis, and terasa kelainannya.
sbb slalunya aku mmg amik air manis, dan kdg sehari x minum air masak langsung.
huhu.

to diet kalori sperti yg ade kat FB tu, mmg depa punya plan sungguh2.
aku try to exclude amik air manis dan limit the karbo.
kita tgk progress dia sehingga hujung bulan ni.
nasik depa amik dekat sesenduk je.
takkan nak masak nasik sesenduk?
so, aku decide x makan nasik la kalo kat stay kat umah.
kat kdai tu boleh la sentuh sesikit.

pagi semalam, goreng ciken popcorn, hotdog dua ngn minyak sayur.
plain water + lemon. air lemon tu aku minum sampai malam.
pastu petang teringin sup2, aku buat bihun sup ladna+ayam tak sampai segenggam.
dinner roti bakar ngn ciken popcorn, cecah sos.
supper, sambung makan roti bakar yg x abes tu, cicah milo kosong.

tatau la sehat x aku punya menu.
tapi, cuba..

smlm tatau apa merasuk, gi beli blender. nak buat apa tatau.
beli dulu.
pastu terkebil2 kat kitchen talking to blender on what am goin' to do with it.

my diet is 40% to do with the fat, and 60% is about my health.
lately cepat benau dari lutut ke kaki sembab kalau berjalan banyak, dan berdiri lama.
risau takut masalah main organ - hati, ginjal, jantung kindathing je.
after aku google, the first recommendation to cure it is, reduce the weight.
oh my goodness.
and my mom was sounded like, why am i look fat?
well, kurus kang kata tak makan, gems kang komplen plak.
hokay mom, i am doing my diet.

i call this road-to-60kg.
wish me luck then.

why war?

i am distracted by the crisis at syria; aleppo, and rohingya kinda thing.
sesuka hati je nak hapuskan etnik, pastu ko g bomb sana sini.
ingat hapuskan orang ni mcm ko nk halau segerombolan kambing masuk reban kah?
ia melibatkan nyawa hokeh, nyawa.
what if it involves your families, bleh terima?
betul lah bangsa israel yahudi ni xleh dibawak berunding.
org mcm ni mati dia mungkin dengan cara halus; nyamuk masuk telinga mcm namrud ka, tersepak baru pastu meninggal ke, atau dilanda penyakit pelik.
which is Allah Yang Maha Esa sahaja yang boleh melawan balik.

aku jarang tgk tv, so info aku limited regarding to this issue, but based on my review, perluasan kuasa di zaman ini is like orang tak bertamadun. kau rasa kau kuat, kau nak tadbir negara, then nak amik kawasan-kawasan orang. aku tak berapa nak paham yang org hidup tak rasa dia akan meninggal ni.
ko rasa umur panjang ke bunuh orang neh. yg part rohingya tu, aku tak berapa paham org kuat agama mcm sami2 tu bleh bunuh orang. kau dah kena rasuk ke hapa.

eh, aku tak paham lah.
why dun we just live in peace?

semoga Allah memberi ketabahan kepada saudara-saudara seIslam di wilayah-wilayah bergolak tu.
Aminn.

*i really mean it.

nawaitu diet

last week, i went for a blood donation event, and gave some blood .
biasa la prosedur sebelum tu, kena check berat, makan, and ecetra2.
mcm nak menjerit after timbang berat badan.
dah sbb last week kenduri, mmg makan x brenti.
jadi naik kj arini, pasang niat diet sndiri-sendiri.

mmg rasa berat dah naik.
tapi buat tatau.
tapi sbb smlm sembap kaki mcm nak boosting, mmg have to do someting.
mmg tak mengamalkan gaya hidup sihat lately.
i eat what i want.
so akibatnya..
huhu.

ok, let we see how far this diet can go.
....

siblings

these people are those who share my childhood, together.

sesama kena marah time ngaji ngan ma.

gaduh2 berebut remote tv.

gaduh lambat siap nk kuar makan.

berebut bilik air.

berebut food "aku nak sayap!!".

"sapa pakai selipar aku buat main hujan??!"

"hoi, tolong buang sampah ni, kjap lg aku nk bakar sampah, tolong!"

bonceng beskal sesama gi skol.

penah share stage amik award ujian akhir tahun.

these all sweet enemies give me lots of moments.

to be who am i now.

thanks mom and abah, for raising us being orang yang berguna.

we are very blessed.

Thank God.

Alhamdulillah.

and yesterday, my not so lil bro, married.

and he, who always accompanied me once sesama blaja kat shah alam.

org kuar ngn bf, kita kuar lepak ngan adik.

he, also the one yg naik bas sesama g hostel since skol sblh sblh.

and the one who asked me to sign his report card sbb 

mls nk dgr abah bebel.

huhu.

so much memories we share.

hope Allah bless us all.

thank you for being with me for my thick and thin.

you all are like home to me.

a day

today i feel like i want to talk, to anyone, about anything.
know what, stress plak my staffs when i ajak borak, and she was like, layan je la, dah boss kan.
kekekehkeh.

maybe effect smlm layan citer me before you, and how to be single.
mmg giler sampai mata dah takleh buka, tapi nk tgk.

well, in live you might be have:-

- a day that you wantto talk all the time
- a day that you wantto curl on the bed while hang 'do not disturb' tag on door
- a day yang ko rasa sronok nk masak, google resepi bagai
- a day which you want to watch rom-com in the silent room and giggle

well, pompuan, normal lah kan.

well...


dah masuk disember weyh, cepat giler tahun ni rasanya.
tahun depan apa la akan jadi dengan aku ni.
huhu.

all the best, life.

rain

the rain is falling heavily.
and the sky doesnt shine like usual.
well, we miss the sun on the raining day. (is this we call love?..huh.)

hujan-hujan ni bestnya kalau buat asgmt and benda2 berfikiran keras.
damai, dan tenang memberikan flow pemikiran yang smooth.
and i now everyone like rain and snow, as long as ia tak memudaratkan.
know what, buatlah apa2 pun, asalkan tidak memudaratkan, itu bagus.

i did ask people for doctorate life and living.
none of them show the motivation and inspire.
semua macam... "well, what the question is that?"
"d'u know what u are asking?'
and the like bila soalan aku was like "best tak buat phD, oke tak? i mean, susah sangat ke?"
and should i put aside the dream, and build another dream.
huhu.


oke lah, sunday with rain is not so cool.
dtg keja mcm tak brapa nk semangat.
atas jalan pun xde org.
smlm tdo pun tjaga tjaga.

maybe

maybe yang jahat itu aku, kerana tak memahami.
i tend to curse myself for being too good to people who i decide them to be stay with.
maybe i am the one who so very easy to be twisted by them into their life.
maybe all the fault turn to me.

yes, u are all right.
you think that people have to understand you.
you think i am the one who need to feel your life, be in your shoes.
and then...what you do is cursing me for asking you to follow my rules.

and now, whose to blame?

maybe this is the perfect time to us, to walk to our own way.
with our own rules.
those who want to stay, stay.
who don't, leave.

but once you turn, i might left you far.
let the heart and gut tell..

Anuar Zain - Andainya Takdir

memang.
baru part selisih dah melimpah air mata dowh.
tangisan apakah?

terbawak2 sedeh mcm org bcinta.
bodss...!!

ufhtt

getting review from the old blog shows 3/4 life for these 8years spent for work.

and here standing now is me with that hasil. am i puashati?

hurmmm.

to avoid self thinking about those crapping things, i keep my life busying.

watching movies, cooking, doing some my not so lil bro wed, and so on so forth.

pastu stress sendiri.

ksian.

bods.

that day aku order kamheong dish at a chinese restaurant.
and my fren be like, "it is just masak kicap, why u so obses?"
well, it is not just a masak kicap okeh.
i did google and cook it myself then makan sampai puas.
i is kind of orang yang bleh makan satu menu sampai bosan.
kalao sbulan x bosan, sbulan lah bleh ngadap.

to mengubat rindu asam pedas hajah mona melaka,
of course i gigih g cari tenggiri walau sekeping.
as for me, asam pedas is only fit with tenggiri.
ikan lain mcm x brapa in.
sorry.

aku duk menyiapkan goodies ni smlm.
bpeluh2 sbb kipas rosak.

these are the contents.

ni sbb aku nk marah my fav kedai mee was told as using the pelaris.
homaigad, i cant believe it.
smentara nunggu sup siap mndidih, aku tcegat bdiri tenung mee ketiau ni.
huhu. jadahnya?

masih mencari mood.

kbai.

leave

being sincere for a ship (friendship, family-ship, relationship...or what ever ship u called it) is of course we hope of each other contribution. give and take kinda thing.
what is the most important?
as for me, the loyalty and being there for whatever circumstance adalah satu yang should be appreciated in all ways.
and pls, do not hide things since if the things came from other people instead of you yourself, it is kind of omg, disaster...which i cant accept.
good thing or bad thing, let u yourself tell.
keadaan sebaliknya brings the frustration and dissappointment.

bergantung harap kepada baiknya orang whose you give them your heart is not a promise to get the same thing.
give yourself to Allah, and inshaAllah He take care of you at most.
I love people kerana Allah what. but then, since i spare the hope for their kindness to appreciate me, its my bad lah kan.

i take myself to get out from the ship.
and let you find out what you should do.
i am done.
it is my right to save my heart from you.
as you have the right to hide things from me.

hiding something and not telling me the truth is same as lying.
and i do not like lying people.

i cant believe it happened to me, again.
lets angkat kaki first.
before you leave me, let me leave you.
as your advice, years ago.

do not seek me, pls.

it is not i want to putuskan silaturahim, it is just to avoid me feel sakit hati saje.
i have to respect my feeling.
since u dont.

years ago (too) i ignored their advice not to leave you,
in order to see what could i explore the ship with you.
but then, i 'see' this.
and i hear them clapping their hands to me.
boo-ing me in a very annoying sound.

oh, i hate this feeling.
kbai.

Sometimes love just aint enough

love is just not enough.
u also need the action to express the feeling in all ways.
the attitude also does matter.
and how you make people stay on your love circle is really matter.

is not about money to invest.
it just about you to act towards.
and i, personally, attach to the attitude.

stress

to be fren with me is different from working with me.
i do not know what is the feeling but i know it must be a stress experience.
(kawan2 kalau stress dgn i jgn tgur i sehari then be fren again after it like nothing happen.i'll be okay)

well, stress pushes our life to work harder (for me lah).
kalau tak stress, buat keja main-main and you'll be like doing routines without passion.
lagipun, bukannya selalu, eventually lah jugak kan.
lagi2 tgh2 bulan (ohemgee).


sorry for giving stress to you people.


k bai.

istiadat convo ke85

alhamdulillah, i am officially a master holder last sunday.
the convocation ceremony held well.
thanks very the munchies for those who came to celebrate my big day.

ni je gambor yg herlok sket. >.<

the journey started from friday, dengan mee champa bagai aku bertahan sampai ke unikl jumpa kak qis for taking the jubah.. awal jugak lah sampai, 150kmj kot. hopefully no saman lah. (tak nampak plak habang polis di sekitar jalan).

then, i went to PTAR of course my second office to meet few people.
well, before that amik ciktee.

sbnrnya nak citer psl hari konvo jer.
my mom kept calling, tanya khabar sebelum, semasa dan selepas.
deep in my heart i knew she wanted to be there, but her limitations doesnt allowed her to be with me.
She knew hasrat anaknya ini, i studied hard, and before aku arrange tiket flight smua bagai aritu, she said she cant make it, and aku pun paham lah. sebagai seorang anak, mendesak is not a good attitude.
sebagai seorang anak yang dah besar juge haruslah aku memahami kondisi beliau yang memberi kekangan dalam banyak hal.


for that morning, i drove from klang to uitm consumed only 15 min., pkul 7 terkocoh2 keluar umah.
sampai2 i stood facing the DATC (with the help of a good fren), and viewed around.
the crowd - hasben with children, assisting to wear the robe, laughing with families, while you standing alone seeking the people you knew.
giler, kat situ aku mcm nak sebak tapi masih cool.
kejap tu dpt call momma yani.
nampak tak Allah kalihkan emosi.hehe.

aku takde mood sgt nk bergambor time beratur dan dlm dewan.
skadar menempel bila diajak sahaja.

selepas sidang bersurai, keluarlah aku berjumpa kawan-kawan sepergilaan dan familia yang ade di sekitar; serol dan tunang (tu pon sbb nak anta barang kawen), ciktee yang mmg blaja kat situ, dan kakja antara waris terdekat yg stay kat situ..haha.
kalau lah aku ni blaja luar KL, mmg sengehlah kau sorg2 di dewan konvo itew.

well, i am very blessed and appreciated every second happen di sepanjang konvo ini.
alhamdulillah.

*lain-lain gamba di FB.

huk aloh

Aku rasa budak2 ni ckp aku ni meroyan mende nak marah2.
seb baik aku x dtg period everymonth mcm org lain, kalo x tetiap bulan la depa kena sound tepet di muka. tak kira tempat.
dah kalau tak paham kenapa tak tanya.
pastu benda dah submit utk analisa, pastu salah.
aku tak pernah ajar kot buat bnda tu.
mana dia rujuk tatau.
bila tanya tetiap bulan, dia jwb "dah anta cik!".
bila aku tanya nape x emel je cc kat aku, dia ckp lg senang gi kabor je ke tuan statistik.
so then aku tatau ape kesah statistik tu,
until smlm aku suh letak atas meja utk dipresent, merapu2 statistik kau letak.
haduih!

nak suh aku tulis ke satu2.
pk la.

1. amik pen
2. kira
3. tulis
4. masuk dlm template
5. hantar ke tuan statistik, cc ke aku sblm 5hb setiap bulan

aku takpenah pun suruh ko pjt gunung, redah paya.
suruh kira je.
huk aloh mung bohh.
pening.

dah skang sape nk jawab bnda ni.
program outreach smpai 6 kali sbln, rajinnya laa library kita.
ufhh!

i dont understand

i am very disappointed when been told that someone asked to reshuffle the unit.
well, i am not reaching 5 years yet in this unit, and my passion of conducting classes and dealing with people still in progress and i have people who continuously seeking me for info.
and after all, i was "kicked" again in acquisition and admin unit.
i feel like omg what the heck.
the exhausted of the csr thing yesterday pun tak abes lagi you came and told us to do this and that.
apa kau dah abes pk.
so stress lah you ni.


mencikkk!

a friend

this entry is for my closed fren.

i am very upset to hear the very unhappy things happened to you.
and after your very down day last month, this month (which would coming to you soon) would be the extra unhappy thing you'll faced.
yes, the hikmah for you of not having that, but then, we know, the sebalik tabir of that,
you (and also me) have sacrifice more for holding him.

for him to appreciate, i do not know.
but what could we do is, controlling ours.
let us stop being sincere to those people like him.
know what, it is like, omg seriyesly??!!!

let us delete him from our life.
lets!

bengkel

this morning , i woke up early, and got finish dengan tergesa2, and dropped by 7E dekat umah amer to buy some roti gardenia utk bengkel pagi.
I was like, not too much expectation org akan dtg ramai.
kalau dlm list 15 org, yg dtg mgkin 10.
dan memang tepat jangkaanku.

and, berapa pun jumlahnya, still aku kna delivered as well.
so, dtgnya ke opis pepagi buta was, to siapkan slide sbb lappy buat hal.
sesampai di opis bukak external hardisk, ttiba blank.
tinggal yg x duk dlm folder je.
dan time tu jugak aku brasa blank.

almost about 1 hour selepas tu nak bagi talk utk bengkel.
my goodness, terkocoh2 sambil meratap nasib diri.
alhamdulillah, sempat.
jenuh jugak recall knowledge yg ade utk bersembang dgn budak2 yg dtg.

and alhamdulillah, semua data boleh recovered.
aku mmg bleh cari sndiri mcm buat kat memory card nikon tu, tapi dalam tempoh masa yg huru hara ni, dgn prog lagi 3hari, kau rasa...?

and aku bersyukur pada tuhan.
semoga projek last2 minute ni dipermudahkan.
phew!

katanya paham ape yg dikongsikan.
harap2 memberi manfaat lah.
^___^

training WILS

it is a BIG PHEW after having this 2 weeks training.
2 kali je dpt join, lain-lain duk bz kat IMD.
alhamdulillah for all commitment

versus

it is wrong to be right in these days.
you know why?
because everyone nak selamatkan perut sendiri and having the pot for their own sake.
it is okay if it wont affect anyone.
but when it comes to a teamwork kinda thing, it of course menyusahkan org.
and i personally think it is wrong.

and now i need to learn how to be 'slow' in doing thing,
how to slow down my passionate in completing tasks,
and neglecting some procedures to walk with these people.

and i dont like that.

and i cursing myself of doing that.

...and i do remind myself, 'people doing mistakes'..


not saying that i do not make mistake, but, membuat mistake dalam keadaan sedar is kind of silly i think. ke guane?

i hate when i am hating....myself dalam keadaan begini.

Allah, ampunkan aku.

doa

i wanna share a doa i got somewhere from FB account.
and i thought it is something to do with Ebit LEW.

"Ya Allah, sayangilah aku, sayangilah kedua ibu bapa ku, sayangilah keluargaku,
dan sayangilah orang-orang yang menyayangiku, sesungguhnya Engkaulah yg Maha Pengasih, lagi Maha Penyayang"

this doa covers you and your loved ones.
All.
So kalau ko nak disayangi Allah melalui doa ini,
sayangilah orang yg kau rasa akan berdoa menggunakan doa ini.
I do it, and i want to menyeru you to recite this doa too.
even not many followers and readers, at least i know one day when i read this post again,
if i miss this doa, i will able to recite it again.


Insha Allah.

rasa

in this new office (even dah 3y being here), lately people talk about marriage.
and i very bertegas bab-bab ini.
jangan nampak lembik sgt lah.
and i wont accept pengorbanan beria-ria sebelum you tie the knot with someone.
unless..

pengorbanan yang simple2 ok lah.
tapi kalau belom ape2 duit kau duit aku,
barang kau barang aku,
what derr kan.

and a fren cum a staff came and storied me yg dia mcm regret to accept her spouse now,
ape kau nak respon?
nasihat utk bersabar mmg kdg2 menyakitkan hati si penyampai.
cumanya aku bleh bagi strategies based on my logic je lah.
hmm..
tapi kalau dah bab2 monetary dia pun kau yg tanggung, berasa nak marah jugak lah.
kalau kawen lebih menyukarkan hidup kau, kau rasa?

it is very nice to watch movies and read books story-ing about life and love after marriage yang mana sweet-sweet blaka. but then how if it becomes worst?
sbb tu org kata kena pilih whether to accept or not.
the first anggukan kau masa engagement is yours decision, not anyone.
that you are willing to face the baik buruk busuk masam wangi manis semua pasangan kau itew.
and after that, hadap, jangan lari.
as for me, itu lah dia.
ye la, aku belom ke fasa itew, senang la cakap.
kau rasa senang ke nak cakap.
aku nak bagi advice ni mikir banyak kali secara deep and serious, apa yg boleh kau buat to save your marriage.
and also for those friends yang baru nak jejak ke dalam kancah kehidupan sebegitu.. (kancah kau, kau rasa jenayah ke?haha)
and of course they are all my frens who came and aske the advices.
and family, aku tak rasa depa  akan cari kita utk hal2 sebegini.
they also akan cari their friends right.

apa-apa pun, pk panjang lah..
jangan buat keputusan ikut rasa kau je.

kbai.

the blesses

last thursday, hari gaji, brought me to Watson (as usual port lepak)..
and i got a call.
"nikkkk!....aaaaaaaaaaaa"
it is a code for my bby sister which would be returned reply with the same aaaaaaaaaaa.
then i reply "bakpo mung?"
"aku dapat sambung blaja..."
and i was like "yaaayyy!"
and banyak benda popped out in my head.

even it was after rayuan, she is accepted to cont. her study.
know what, masa 1st tau aritu i thought i felt soo down for her.
tapi sempat aku bawak sembang for her to forget that thing and gave little hope that, well, you can do many things rather than sambung blaja you know.
but then deep in my heart, rasa nak menangis sedey tu ade.
mlm tu dia tido awal.

and i somehow arguing in my heart..
she is a good girl, why she wont get the place as what she wanted to.
tapi aku sempat la mengucap, qada qadar Allah.
and i forced her to make doa, i told mum to do that too.
and of course my self.
doa aku berbunyi "Allah, dia budak baik Allah, selalu tolong aku, jaga ma abah, jaga adik-adik, Kau bantu dia Ya Allah utnuk capai impian dia.." kinda thing.
and Allah sebaik-baik perancang, she got the place then.

well, yeah, bad things happen to good people.
good things also happen to good people either.

brase mcm mak-mak plak feeling dia.
when she asked me to send her to the uni this sunday, i was like a single-mother-sending-daughter-blaja plak. hehe..
dah la aritu nk g amik my little brother kat kolej the guard asked "amik anak ke kak"..
am i looked like a mother anak umur 20-an?
hey, i am only 32..
not all hantar-amik students are their parents okay..

and still, i have sorg lagi adik yg harus dirisaukan.
since being single for long time ni, the feeling like second parents plak.
over kan.
well, you know, everyone bz with family.
and since aku je mcm oh-free-willy and bleh cuti sesuka hati.
well, use me while you can.
soon, bos baru datang, we couldnt know mcmana kaedah pengendalian dia terhadap kuli2 spt haku inew..

and, with all my heart i wish Cik Tee, selamat belajar.
semoga jadi org berguna.

lps bayar yuran kau tadi aku termenung seketika.
no more handbag and shoes, and baju for these few months.
*menangis..

crush

the feeling when you crush zaman study dulu kala texting u after a while (years) promoting tudung wife dia jual.
kau rasa?

"hey, jual tdung plak ke?"
"tukar profesion plak.haha"

Cuba berbasa basi.

pfffttt..

know what, aku ni mudah feeling.
jangan lentok2 sgt ngn aku ni.bahaya.
bahaya sbb nt the promises rise again and...
and then you leave me just like that.
demiyu!

now i learn lots to stand with kau-dekat-dekat-ngan-aku-ni-nak-ape kinda thing.
kdg friendship depa ni lain mcm.
and itu la kekadang menghanyutkan aku ni.
haish..

semoga dielakkan menda2 negatip seprti ini...

dahle lately byk nau disogokkan dengan cerita2 spouse curang, spouse tak guna, spouse sampah kinda thing. my God, what happen to the world..huhu.

aamiinnn

and they were like "bes plak aku tgk hidup kau ni.."haha..i memang hepi sokmo.
slmat menjeles.
k bai.

Ootd Rabu

Time tudung elok.
Mood baek. Makeup kena. Hehe. 

Bengkel Siri 2

it was our second time organizing the bengkel katalog dan pengkelasan to all guru pusat sumber sekolah menengah negeri tganu since the 1st one kita tak mlibatkan semua daerah.

so mana2 yg tcicir ituari kita masukkan dlm bgkel ni.

the same penceramahs, cuma yg berbezanya ajk seorang dua.

and lokasi.

this time we did it at Tanjung Demong Beach Resort, Kuala Besut (15-17 August).

tapi kami tiba di resort 2 days before. and the 1st day we attending meeting at school, and preparing apa yang patut. 

Alhamdulillah, we, 11 orang, dapat melaksanakan dengan jayanya program ni.

cuma slack aku je lambat bagi air masa bigboss batuk bagi speech aluan.

YB plak yang hulur air ke bos. malu seyh.

tapi tade plak soseh2 lepas bengkel tu. cumanya i felt unease of that.hmm..

even cameraman kali ni tersangatlah amatur, still, gambar ade...here some:-

jawatankuasa bengkel

smpat kak aida bagi lip gloss.
ttiba pakai lipgloss pink.haha

org2 kuat bengkel

Aku pun baru blaja time bengkel ni.
yg siri 1 dah paham aritu. tapi sbb 4 bln tinggal aku baru la nk refresh smula.
seb baik ade zaidi

pengacara majlis asyik duk tanya pantun.
haha..kalo aku, memang hancus.

seluar senteng.. hahaha.
dem!

sabar

i really feel that my siblings (and I) were kurang sabar in various different things.
and one of us (i found that) memang kurang sabar bab2 makan.
and he would be like "cepat laa..lapar" kinda thing mcm tak menyempat.
and i dont like that.

my sulking heart brought me to drive early to Dungun.
i feel unease to be with him around since cakap pun tak guna.
it was the second time i facing that thing directly and it was very menyakitkan hati.

well, tell me that it is one of the faktor usia kinda thing but i feel very hard when people talkback to me. kalau benda aku buat tu tak betul i am very open to accept.
tapi kalau benda obviously memang melibatkan org lain dan ko sorg je yg problem i would not compromise.

tak pe lah.
tapi sakit hati.

kbai

memories

i learn that, if you wanna forget the moments u have created with someone, go to that place over and over again and create another moment.

well, u know what i meant.

just create another moment, and the memories would be redundant and the newest would be in front.
haha.

boleh tak camtu?

last minute

i am not a last minute person , thus i feel bad for people who do so.
especially when the tasks given a month or two sebelum hari kejadian.
and tup2 you come and tell "cik hani, dukacita..bla.bla.."
aku dah tak de feel nak marah ke nak apa since it would broke my excitement nak ke programnya besok. kecik besor je aku nengok ke budak ni.

i, personally, sangat appreciate org yg sejujurnya cakap dia tak leh buat, dari ko menyanggup and then at last you come out with nothing.
kalau aku ade kudrat ko akan mendengar bebelan kesal aku paling kurang 15min.
so arini sbb mls nk g bfast and the drink pon fresh2 green tea je, mmg aku pandang je la muka kau sambil senyum sinis.
beb, senyum sinis aku memang boleh membuatkan org marah seharian okeh..
kadang makan tahun.
tapi kalo ko x terasa tu memang ko hati kebal.

and because i am not a last minute people, i dun like people gimme task bagi arini esok nak, pastu data dalam tu nak macam2. u know what, aku tunggu tengok je ketua group bila nak assign tugas since group lain dah comeout with sort of report. itu pon sbb aku replace dia meeting crosscheck report. if not i wont know what actually happen in that jawatankuasa report. oh mai God.
i salute those people who could manage to do work last minute, bcz i am not.

plz la, kalau tak menyusahkan org, its okay, tapi kalau dah kacau tentatif program kita, it is a chaos.
aku ni bukannye buleh.
if not, the result pun tak semenggah mana lah.
dont blame me for the uncompleteness tuh.
k bai.


*sakit ati smbil kecewa

blessing day

last week i was membebel2 after knowing that my name has been picked as a respondent for uni happiness index. i was like "why me, i am not happy to be selected to join the happiness prog especially on my weekend!". padahal tak gembira sebab clash dengan activiti menyiapkan dulang hantaran. ngeh3.

and the officer who incharge calling me when i was at the meeting at Besut, telling that you may represent other at the same level. and i was like "oke fine, i will send someone replacing me"..
pastu tetiba postpone. nak juge aku pegi tu.haha.

it was a research program to rank the uni, involving 8 representatives from this campus, and kelantan.
it was a happy program, everyone enjoyed, tapi masa present ade sedikit kekerutan pada presenter since unhappiness have been clarified and expressed very well. agaknya kalau buat time weekend haritu makin tinggi index unhappiness. haha.

whatever.

i am not too much in complaining about the campus since, biasa la.
compared to others, mine was very small things..
bersyukur banyak ke camana ni?
cuma ade la sikit2 bab system and process of doc and proposals je.
thanks Allah for the positiveness.

and balik je office i have been surprised with the present from students.
ohmyGod, i am so blessed.
and few minutes then there was another student texting me for a dinner treat as a return for assisting her for independent study.
oh my.
tak perlu rasanya sampai ke begitu sekali.
mungkin Allah mau uji, ko nk riak ke camana?
mungkin juga satu blessing.

and i also got a pos laju.
presenting the faculty journal.
publishing my article from my independent study research.
oh my.

what a happy day.
thank you Allah.

syawal

baru ade mood update gambo raya.

mana yg ade je.

DSLR rosak.

mmg dem la kan time2 gini nak rosak.

seb baik la vivo V3 tu ok gamba dia.

boleh la dari tade

Anak2 abg aku.
anis. aina.
kalo jalan ngn aku org kata aku mak dia.
pffftt..

keluarga abg aku . tanpa abg aku.
dia mmg raya 1st je pakai bj raya,
pastu tatau dia g mana dah lps tu.

famili kakak aku yg kdua.
kakak yg pertama raya umah mertua.
subuh2 ari dah xde

Aku. sorg.
sobsss...

ciktee yg bergaya

fotogenik dia sorg.hehe

org raya gembira. kita tunduk pandang lantai je.
sobbbss skali lagi

raya 1st dengan smua ahli keluarga aku.
tambah keluarga pakdo Said dan keluarga poksu Ya.

aku tu sebenarnya nak melompat.
haha..

raya.

mestila seronok.

kalau terasa nak hambar tu, kita la yg create the moments.

kan..baru la dia tak jadi sendu sorg2.

bawak2 la bergembira di hari yang mulia.

Salam lebaran u ols..

malas

aku start puasa Syawal hari ni.
tapi rasa tak larat dowh.
pagi aku bangun sahur campak2 spageti tak abis smlm, buh sket bawang putih letak ayam.
hasilnya, tak rasa ape.
pastu tak abes.
minum susu dua gelas, air putih segelas, then melepet tepi katil nunggu subuh.
this might be the effect of smlm takleh tdo sbb melantak air teh lipton hazelnut sampai dua gelas.
teruk betul kafein dia.
dah takbleh terima kafein ke ape bdan aku ni.


sebenarnya sgt byk keja tapi syaiton betul lah, malas.
aku dalam misi nak mengurangkan makan sbb aku rasa dah overweight.
bila dah overweight aku jadi malas bergerak.
pastu ia berkait dengan malas.
puasa itu lain citer. ia untuk kawal nafsu nafsi.
kawal perut belum tentu..huhu.

misi turunkan berat badan ni dateline hujung tahun.
inshaAllah.

moody

people still in raya mood but me, dah rasa faded...
tday kat office ade jamuan raya.
but then pagi2 i asked my staff to report what she did for the xvtvt petang nanti.
and all reported news were very frustrated.

u know what, i dunno lah if my perception and standard is too high in every single tasks given or even for every people i deal with. i put full of trust and hope that semua keja tersebut akan berjalan dengan lancar since i also do that in every tasks given to me.
but recently i feel like everyone dah mcm pijak kepala and slowly count keja depa buat.
eh, meh sini kau aku nak berkire juga apa aku dah buat.
meh kita timbang mana lebih banyak.
dont u have in mind that orang lain juga punya masalah sndiri kalau ko kata ko ade mslh.
it is about how u handle lah.
u say u stress, org lain kau igt seronok?
and tergamak u said u want to give up all the tasks given to u.. hey, then tak yah keja and go out from this office. this organization also doesnt need u anymore. we also give up on u lah.

why people like this?
or...am i too pushy?
may be i am not good in leading people.

pra-raya shoot

Sesi photoshoot pra-raya semalam bermula dengan wajah stress.

mungkin malas nak hadap.

benda yg nak fun-fun, jadi tekanan.

huhu.

apa2 pun, asal ade snap sekeping dua, senanglaa nak proceed kad raya.

senang juge keja aku.

huhu..kan dah kena bebel..

kena agah2 baru sengih.

photographer sampai kena jerit
"senyumlaa weyhh!"
hahaha..

2016, ramadhan datang dan bakal berlalu.

semoga kita dirahmati.

cookies raya sang alip dua ari lepas dah tinggal separuh balang.

haha. mcm tade harapan ke raya je.

resepi tiwani tu ada, simpan untuk kegunaan esok ari.. :)

kbai.

passion of foodies

the passion of foodies is not sesuatu yang aneh di bulan ramadhan.
nafsu yang dah terbiasa ditiup syaitonirrajim kadang2 terusik dikala didikan ramadhan ini.
terbiasa. dan adakah sebab itu skang baru pkul 9 pagi dah terbayang-bayang menu berbuka nati?
oh may Allah bless.

sambal hitam pahang cikma semalam mmg kaw2.
i duno lah mmg lately teringatkan sambal hitam r&R temerloh.
mmg harus singgah lah this wednesday.

itu je aku nk citer.
bai!

goodness in ramadhan

kuasa tahajjud.

aku ni bukanlah "ustazah" mahupun acah-acah alim sangat (hashtag), tapi lately aku try to buat apa yang extra2 dalam bulan ramadhan yang mulia ini.

tahajjud atau solat sunat dua rakaat selepas witir sbnrnya ada percanggahan pendapat samada kna buka-ttup witir balik mahupun trus je solat mcm biasa bcz of sabda Rasulullah tiada 2 witir dalam satu malam. after having conversation with a fren, he said that boleh la. and supported by reading observations kat tenet, i got confident and did perform solat after that sehingga ke arini (semalam tak..hehe).

mewujudkan ikhlas tanpa terpaksa is a kind of forcing ourselves by popping up the goodness yang ditawarkan oleh Allah. then lama2 ia akan mewujudkan rasa kecintaan dan kenikmatan dalam beribadah. u know what, ramai je yg akan pandang slack, dan kita pun akan rasa segan kalau org nmpk. skang kan tren segan nak buat baik takut timbul riak. haih.. buat baik mmg susah, kan. banyak halangan. tapi sbnrnya halangan tu dlm diri kita je.
syaiton takde ni, so halangannya adalah kita.

tahajjud actually yg aku nk highlightnya ni.
Prof kamil ibrahim dulu ada citer, kalau nak ape2 tahajjud, solat, dan mintak ngan Allah.
even sekecik2 benda mahupun sbsar2 bnda.
kalau kita minta, on the right time, and the right place Allah akan bagi dan pmudahkan.
and u can feel the magis on that.
believe me. it happen.

jom, semoga kita istiqamah.
istiqamah tu lagi satu hal.
payah kan..

sekian dari aku yang baru nak berhijrah.
* kau igt pakai tudung dah bagus? tak beb, byk lagi nak kna improve.
*banyakkan tgk hadith open mic dan program2 mizz nina ngn ustadha yasmin tu, baru kita tau the transformation in hijrah  slowly develop, dia bukan drastic. kuatkan semangat.

chaiyokk!

memori ramadhan

ramadhan.

always remind me to lots of things.
with the lovely crowds..
and beloved people.


kecik2 slalu gak ikut arwah mok, arwah moknab jalan ke surau which is we call balasoh. (the word might be came from madrasah). kalau hujan, hujan la.. kdg2 bila ma suruh rasa berat tak nak ikut. ma cakap buat teman arwah mok. so that i forced myself to go. masa tu skolah rendah. tudung senget2 lagi, baju kalerful. arwah nenek akan ingatkan, jangan bising time org solat. kalau tak larat, duk diam2 kat tepi. balik jangan berlari nanti jatuh. arwah mok suka duk saf depan, so, budak2 katanya duk blakang.

skang, semua org2 lama yang aku slalu duk ikut p balasoh were gone. and i miss them soo much.
semoga Allah merahmati mereka semua.

time ramadhan jugak org akan main bunga api berdentum berdentam.
arwah mok akan ckp "diorg ni teringin berperang ke? diorg tak merasa bunyi kapal perang...takut"
and she continued watching the sky at nite and amik wuduk utk solat sunat..
after solat dia akan baca Quran sampai dia penat and slept by covering the whole body.
"tido itu umpama mati.baca 3 qul, pastu dah jangan bercakap. tdo"
gelap. mmg xnmpak ape.
she cant stand ubat nyamuk, sbb tu ubat nyamuk hanya akan ada time kitorg tdo umah dia je.
oh, rindunyaaa..
waktu bbuka ramadhan dengan dia sgt simple.
"kenyang sgt tu nanti payoh nk smaye".

she always kept herself all the troubles sampai ke akhir hayat.
she just want to keep we all her families ni happy.
"nanti aku dah takdok agaknya puok2 mung ni bkumpul gini lagi ke dok?"
sambil sapu mata.

oh, how i miss her.
innalillah..
it has been 8 years since she gone.
and i always feel her present.
in my heart.

semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat ke atas roh Sepiah binti Ismail.
amin..

ramadhan 1437H

Ahlan Wasahlan ya Ramadhon.

may Allah bless us.. and avoid us from hell.

semoga Allah menjauhkan kita dari sikap :-

1) Hasad Dengki

2) Tamak

3) Sombong

InshaAllah.

Rainbow WaterFall Sg. Lembing

this is a throwback vacation.

short vacation actually.

for a labor day break, i planned a vacation to sg.lembing.

after googling here and there, i found the Time Capsule Retreat.

tgk2 review dan comments, positive.

cari penginapan dulu, then baru cari mende xtvt nak buat.

we chose to have rainbow waterfall, tanpa mengetahui bagaimana sbnrnya xtvt itu scara detail.

ini namanya percutian redah tak hingat.

asal bleh kuar dari daerah bekerja.

muka mmg sememeh..maafkan gwe wahai penunggu blog.
comot giler..

we went to kuantan first, jalan2 amik angin before bertolak ke Sg. lembing.
it is a small town with chinese dominant.
ade la melayu dua tiga buah umah.
ade masjid, kdai makan juge.
tapi limited.
kalau nak g lama, kena bawak bekalan.
tapi kat situ pun ade je kedai runcit mlayu.

sampai2 , tunggu owner Time Capsule utk briefing.
owner dia sgt baik hati and polite.
suasana tempat dia sgt cool.
sesuai lah sgt nk bcuti rehatkan minda.

dia ade time capsule pat lima buah.
tapi aku prefer room cottage.
snang nak solat, toilet dalam umah, nak iron gantung bj snang.

suasana room cottage. ada 4 - 5 bilik satu umah.
every each ade toilet sndiri.
bersih.

santai adik bradik

feel the moment sblm dia masuk matriks katanya

ahli vacation.
acah2 je posing depan time capsule.
bukak2 sliding door tu terus tilam okeh.
so imagine lah kalo nk solat.

parking area

petang tu aktiviti sndiri.
ini amukan kebosanan kinda thing.
haha..
aku ajak main batu seremban je la jwpnya.

katanya mee jawa tersohor di daerah itu.
rasa dia biasa2 je.
aku mkn tak abes.

sibling posing gambo majalah skolah

seb baik juge ade 3D gallery.
xde org dlm tu..
ko guling tergolek lompat2
tak de org pdulik.

aksi ..huntunglaa bleh buat camtu.
kalo ahkak, mmg korg kna pgg kaki kat ataih.

malam mencari dinner.
kdai byk ttup.
sebbaik ade satu warong melayu bukak.
smua org mlayu mmg tumpu kat kdai tu je.

esok paginya tu, smua kna bkumpul pkul 6 pagi.
kdai mlayu ade kuih ni je.
makan la kuih muih ni smpai knyg.
perut aku pagi2 sgt xleh masuk byk2..

katanya tgk sunrise.

naik lah mende alah ni smpai ke atas puncak bukit.
adventure mmg adventure.
turun tu pening mlayang2.
dalam sejam jugak la nk smpai atas.

sampai2 tu, kna trekking plak la kan dlm 2 KM ke atas bukit.

bila smpai atas mmg subhanallah cantik xtau nk ckp.
speechless..

sbb camera DSLR xde bateri, ini je gambo terbaik yg bleh amik pakai phone.

sesambil main air dan menikmati keindahan,
semua org disediakan megi cup ngn milo 3in1.

syok juge..

air memang diorg amik air bukit ni buat masak.
kbtulan malam smlmnya hujan.
mmg laju jugak air turun dari ats bukit.
omg, aku mmg terpegun.

skali tgk mcm dlm citer magika tu.
efek 3D.
pastu ade burung2 terbang,
air2 bukit sparkle kena cahaya matahari.
rumput2 hijau cantik.

yg tiba tang rainbow tu tepon xleh capture.

tepon aku tu cap ayam xleh kna air.

ni aku amik ehsan google tepek kat sini.

buat knangan.

So overall, puas ati lah.

aidil je takleh ikut, ade extra class PT3.huhu

Time Capsule Retreat: http://timecapsuleretreat.wix.com/home